Our eggs!

This morning I got a call from the embryologist, Brian.  He told me that 7 of our 9 eggs were mature and 2 were immature.  He let me know that the 2 immature eggs did not fertilize even though they tried to allow them to further mature.  BUT, he said that ALL SEVEN of the mature eggs fertilized!!! SOOOO... we have 7 embryos!!!! :)  

This is a very exciting time!!! Now we just keep praying that these embryos will continue to grow and grow and grow!!! Our hope is to be able to transfer 2 embryos on Saturday morning at the implantation appointment.  We know that it is likely that not all embryos will make it to that point, but we are hopeful that we will have at least 2 strong Day 3 embryos on Saturday!! :)  We have already made a deposit to freeze any remaining embryos.  We will not be discarding them!  :) 

( I have had a lot of people ask about the process of determining how many embryos to implant and what to do with the other embryos... I will make a blog post about this soon!) 

Thank you for your continued support of our journey!! Thank you for thinking of our little ones that are up in Rockford and for keeping them in your prayers!!! Brian and Brooke are taking great care of them and watching over them for us!! I can't wait to see them on Saturday!!! :)  

It is crazy to think that after over 5 years of trying to grow our family our lives were changed so much in 1 day!!! We will keep you updated as we learn more about this process.  

P.S.  Last year on this date I had major surgery!!! So much endometriosis was removed and the two weeks that followed were a nightmare!  A year ago today I thought I was going to die. I woke up from surgery on oxygen and they wouldn't let Mike see me.  I was SO scared.  I was in SOOOOO much pain.  Instead of the anticipated 2 days of bed rest I had 2 WEEKS of bed rest and then restrictions for almost a month.  UGH!!!  SUCH A NIGHTMARE!!!! What a difference a year makes!!! I am very thankful that TODAY is the date that we got the news of our little ones growing up in Rockford.  It is such an amazing change from the previous memory of this date.  It brings it full circle!!! :)  

Another Halloween that the McVey's won't be able to  greet trick or treaters.  Looks like we will have enough fruit snacks to last us a whole year!!! I thought fruit snacks would be a good treat this year.  At least I got fruit snacks this year instead of candy!!! Believe me, we wouldn't have a problem tackling bags and bags of candy!  BUT, I don't think it would be helpful to the baby/babies!!!!  ;)  

Thanks again for your support!! We will keep you posted!!! 

Another P.S. (Hey... I am on bed rest and have nothing better to do than continue babbling!!!)  I want to point out that I am calmer today and yesterday than I have ever been in this process.  It is SUPER weird to me! I haven't cried.  I haven't been going crazy excited.  I think I am in shock or something!! And, I guess I know that my body needs me to chill out right now!!! :)  Does anyone find this calm strange?!?!?! I find it super strange, but also refreshing.  Maybe this is how normal people feel!!! I am SO used to being high strung!!!! I am so used to feeling everything times 1 million!! I am enjoying the fact that I am not going crazy right now and overthinking!!! It is a nice change!! But, I am pretty sure it is a phase I will pass through quickly!!!  I am very happy about the way things are moving right now and I am taking it moment by moment!!! 

Quote from Mike to end this blog post: As he was heading out the door earlier he said, "I just want a guarantee, (at this point I thought he was going to say "stay on the couch and remember you are on bed rest... NOPE!!) that we will not have 4 if we put in 2!!"  HAHAH!!! Sorry honey!! No guarantee... But, if they both split and turned into 4 they would be 1 in 70 million!!! That is pretty special!! ;)  And, I am pretty sure both of us would faint!!! HAHA!! 

Have a wonderful night!!! :)  

Retrieval!

Last night my mom, Mike, and I took off to Rockford to stay in a hotel in preparation for retrieval today! (Side note: The hotel had Sleep Number beds which we thought was really cool at first, but then we did not sleep well, so I guess it wasn't as cool as we thought. Lesson learned: We don't really need a Sleep Number bed like I thought!!! HAHA!!)

Surprisingly, I was able to fall asleep right away... I said some prayers that I would be calm and at peace with the retrieval and then, if I am being honest, I panicked a little thinking that I might ovulate early or something crazy like that!!! I woke up SUPER early... way earlier than I needed to!  But, so did Mike and my mom, so I wasn't super bored! I waited a couple hours and took my Pepcid at 7 a.m. like a good girl!! 

Mike got ready, my mom got ready, and then I finally started getting ready while they went to breakfast.  I am so thankful that breakfast is my least favorite meal because apparently they had an amazing breakfast, but I wasn't jealous because NONE of it sounded good to me!!! :)  

We made the trek over to the facility and they took me back to get me changed into a gown (Who doesn't love those gowns!!) and to give me an I.V. (another favorite!!!!).  I also got to answer lots of questions... my favorite?!?!? "Have you smoked 100 cigarettes in your lifetime?"  "No."  "Okay. Sorry, we have to ask that random question!"  So strange, but the nurse was SUPER nice!!  

Then we waited... Not because they were running late or anything, just because this is how surgeries and procedures work!!  Then, Mike was picked up to go do his thing and I waited some more!  Someday he needs to make a blog post about the awkwardness of his contributions to this process... 4 samples, 4 different places, always nurses chatting in the hallway! HAHA!! Poor guy!!!

 I believe at that point a couple different people stopped in to talk to me about the procedure and asked if I had any questions.  Then I was taken in to get my IV and anesthesia.  The lady did an excellent job!  I barely have a bruise from the IV, which is pretty exciting!! My favorite part was that she said, "This will seem a little sketchy.  This will kick in pretty quickly and the next thing you know you will be in the other room!"  I LOVED that she said "sketchy"! Too funny!!! HAHA!!

Well, she was right.  I didn't remember anything.  But, evidentally I made a fool of myself and talked about how cynical the doctor (not today's doctor, Dr. G.) is.  The first thing I remember is Mikes saying, "Julie, STOP... you can't talk like that to his staff." HAHAHAH!! Oh my gosh... I am so embarrassed!!! OOPS!! I guess my response was, "Well, he is the one that called himself cynical!"  Mike said the nurses just laughed, but that doesn't mean that I am not embarrassed!!! WOW!!! ;)

I guess while I was still loopy I missed the doctor coming in and telling us that there were 9 eggs retrieved!  Thankfully Mike was not loopy so he was able to tell me when I was less loopy!! The doctor said that they must have been hiding the last time he did a sonogram because there were only 7 that day!! I really like Dr. S. and I am so thankful that he was there today to help us!!

A little bit later the doctor came back in and told us that due to my endometriosis they were going to use a process called ISCI which means that they will inject a single sperm into each mature egg.  This will eliminate the chance that endometriosis would cause the eggs to not fertilize well.  Hopefully that means we will get a good call tomorrow saying that we have embryos that look healthy!! Grow babies!! GROW!!! :)  He also said that they would surround the immature eggs with lots of sperm for 5-6 hours in hopes that they will mature and be fertilized.  Grow!! Grow!! Grow!!!

He also told us that he believes we will implant on Saturday as a Day 3 transfer.  We will find out more information when they call tomorrow to tell us how many embryos we have.  So, our plan is that we will drive up on Friday night and stay in Rockford so that we can implant on Saturday.  We also have to make a decision... one embryo or two?!?! We need to discuss this and all the implications, and we need to make the decision soon!!!

Currently I am taking it easy while I am on bed rest.  I can't drive yet or "make decisions" per the form they gave us!!! ;)  So, I will be home on the couch tomorrow also.  I will also have to check my weight and measure my waist tomorrow to ensure that I am not experiencing overstimulation.  If I gai n 5 pounds or 2 inches I have to call right away.  Hopefully that is not something that I have to deal with!! So far I am just tryng to follow the doctors orders and Mike has been great!  He said, "You are kind of like taking care of a pet rock.  You pretty much take care of yourself!" HAHA!! I guess that means I am a good patient and don't bother him too much!!!

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers!  We are excited to hear from them tomorrow and we hope that we have healthy babies growing in Rockford!!! We will keep you updated as we find out more!! Thanks again for joining us on our journey!!!

Shockingly I am very calm today.  After I heard that we have 9 eggs I stopped stressing.  I realize that this is far from over, but I know that I have done everything I can and I am coninuing to do what the doctors have told me.  I have prayed for peace and calm during this time and thankfully I have it.  Now, if I don't hear from the doctor's office fairly early in the morning I am sure I will start to get nervous, but I will do my best to remain calm!! :)

Have a great night!!! 

Sonogram #3

Last night I had too much nervous energy/excitement to sleep... which led to me feeling EXHAUSTED today!!! But, I have to stay up until a little after 11:00 tonight, so there is no chance of going to bed early to try to recuperate a little from getting less than 4 hours of sleep last night.

Today's sonogram went well.  We are now using latex free materials, so that is much better than what I experienced on Friday!  The doctor (back to Dr. G this time) said that the lining of my uterus is "beautiful" and that things look "optimistic"!!!! Woohoo!!! That is pretty exciting coming from a self proclaimed cynic!!

The Dr. started out the sonogram by saying, "Oh, you are the one with the ovary stuck to your uterus!"  Yep... yep I am!! ;)  Then he said that I had 3 follicles... this kind of made me panic until he said, "Now lets look at the one that is stuck."  So, I have 3 follicles on the ovary that I had only endometriosis on on Friday!  Crazy, but I will take it!!!  (The follicles are size 10, 12, and 18.  So, we will just have to see if any will be viable.  Possibly the 18, unless that is the endometrioma that was seen on the sono last time.")

So, then he looked at the tricky ovary and determined that we still had 7 follicles and most of them are big and fat!!! I had a couple 25s, several 22s, and a 16.  I don't really know why that 16 didn't grow, but oh well... So, we have 7 on the tricky ovary and 3 on the other one.  So we scheduled our retrieval for Wednesday!! :)

Dr. S. will be in charge of my retrieval and Dr. G. will be in charge of the implantation (as long as we get to that stage!!!).  Dr. G. instructed us that we must stay at a hotel in Rockford due to the distance we live from the facility.  He said there are too many things that could go wrong when we are that far away because this procedure is SOOOO time sensitive!

Tonight at 11:00 we will do the Novarel trigger shot.  That is exactly 35 hours from the procedure.  The medicine causes ovulation to occur between 36 and 40 hours from the injection... SO, he said that if anything held us up such as car trouble or a fender bender I would likely ovulate in the car instead of having my eggs retrieved like they are supposed to be! In other words, things would be cancelled again!  Tonight I called and booked the hotel room and we will leave after school tomorrow!  The doctor was adamant that it was the right choice!!! They gave us the number for a hotel that they have a discount worked out with... let me tell you, I would hate to think of what the regular price is... I wouldn't think that a Tuesday night would have their highest rate either... this must be a super nice hotel!!! ;)  Honestly, I was not very excited about spending the extra money on a hotel room. But, at this point it is such a small amount compared to the big picture... I need to just take a deep breath and remind myself that it will all be worth it!!!

Tonight's injection is an intermuscular injection, so it is done in the rump.  Hopefully this will be the last injection of this cycle! WOOHOO!!! From this point on I will only be using the progesterone gel, not the progesterone injections (due to the allergic reaction).  I am a little nervous about the change because they can't guarantee that I won't have a reaction to this form of progesterone. EEK!!! ;)

Currently I am very excited and optimistic about Wednesday's procedure!  I am experiencing a lot of back pain and abdominal discomfort, but they said that is because my ovaries are "full" and pushing on my back.  So, I will just continue to try to find comfortable positions to sit, stand, and lounge in!  This will all be worth it if we are able to bring home a healthy baby someday!!! :)

Right now I am in awe as I think about the fact that we might have babies forming on Wednesday!!! Within the week it is possible that we will get to see pictures of our babies!!! The dream I had about taking the embryo pictures to school to show them off could come true! I know that I need to prepare myself for the fact that it might not work out, but for now I just need to enjoy this moment!

Thank you again for all of your support!! We are both excited about this week and the opportunities we have this week.  I wish I would have asked more about the process that will occur after they do my surgery and Mike takes care of his end of the deal!  I know that they put them in a petri dish, but I don't really know how they will determine the time frame for the rest of the process.  Hopefully I will be with it enough after I come out of anesthesia to ask the questions I have!!

At this point I don't even know what I want to know!! HAHA!! I think it is a little above my head!! :)

Have a wonderful evening and thanks again for being part of our journey!!!

Sonogram #2

Yesterday we had sonogram #2.  It started off very strange because I had a couple things added to my file.  One thing that was added was a latex allergy!!! Yep, somehow I have developed an allergy to latex. My stomach has welts on it from the bandages that we have used throughout the injection process and they told us it is from a latex allergy.  I thought my stomach was just sensitive because my arm hasn't had any reactions to the bandages they used during blood draws, but it turns out they use latex free bandages.  I used latex free bandages last night and this morning... no new welts! SOOOO... add another freakshow allergy to my list!!! ;)

Also, we found out that the fact that my body rejects internal stitches has a name and needs to be added to my medical file.  Who knew?!?!  People acted like it wasn't really a big deal, so I just didn't worry about it.  Turns out that my body doesn't "break them down" and therefore those can't be used on me anymore.  I think I am starting to learn a lesson... if something doesn't seem right I shouldn't listen to people who are discounting my fears... it probably isn't right.  Too many times I have been concerned about something with my health, people have discounted it, I have believed them, and in the end I am the one who has to deal with the situations that arise later.  Public service announcement... YOU are your best advocate!!!! Fight for yourself and try to be supportive of others who are advocating for their health!!!! :)

Back to the sonogram... I was surprised to see Dr. S walk through the door instead of Dr. G.  But, I wasn't disappointed.  I really like Dr. S and I feel like he is much better at communicating with us.  So, it was a nice surprise!  Turns out that Dr. S will be the one doing my retrieval, so I was glad he was able to take a peek!  Here is a run down of the appointment:
1.  Dr. S. asked to see my tummy and then told me to use latex free bandages or paper tape and guaze from now on.  He said we don't want me to continue to welt.  Thank you!! I don't want to continue to welt either!!
2. When he started the sonogram he went directly to the location of the "bad" ovary.  He didn't say anything negative about the position.  He said, "Well! We have a lot more follicles than last time."  I thought he meant more than Wednesday, so I asked if he was looking at the "good ovary" or the "bad ovary", but I was wrong... he was talking about the last cycle attempt when he completed my IUI he wasn't comparing to Wednesday's sonogram. I am so glad he cares enough to remember previous cycles and compare the progress!!!
3.  He asked why we call my ovaries the "good ovary" and the "bad ovary".  We told him it was because the "bad" one is stuck in a place it shouldn't be... he said, "Oh, I thought the "good" ovary was the "bad" ovary because it had a problem that you are aware of.  At that point I realized that the "bad" ovary is actually my "good" ovary and it is just par for the course that it is going to be tricky to get to.  Turns out the ovary that we have been calling "good" is having issues and it doesn't have any follicles on it.  Instead, what they thought was a single follicle is actually endometriosis.  :( BOOO!!! And we have been calling it the "good ovary"!!! I have been living a lie!! ;) I think I will start calling the stuck ovary the "tricky ovary" and the other one is just the dud right now!!! ;)
4.  He counted the follicles and determined that we have 7 follicles left out of the 9.  As I said in #3 he told me that he believes that one of the follicles is not actually a follicle.  He said he will try to get the follicles from the tricky ovary first and then he will see what he can do with the follicle that might be endometriosis.  I reminded him that I have had chocolate cysts removed before, so his plan is to check it and see if it has normal fluid and possilby an egg or if it is full of the dark gook that  a chocolate cyst is full of.  He will tackle it last so that he doesn't contaminate the line for other follicles and eggs.  I am SOOO thankful that he is being cautious in this situation.
5.  They read off the measurements and things sounded great!!!! My follicles are getting so close to the 18+ target!!!! YAY!!!!
6. I finally decided that I wanted to ask why he didn't seem nervous about the positioning of my ovary like Dr. G. did.  He said, 'You will be put under for this procedure.  I can manipulate your abdomen any way I need to and you won't feel it!"  So, I have a feeling I might be sore when I wake up, but it will be worth it if we have good results!!! :)
7.  Dr. S. told me to get dressed and meet them in the office area.  So, that is what I did.  Then the nurse told me that the IVF coordinator brought it to her attention that one of my medications that I am scheduled to use on Monday has latex in it.  Thankfully I received a different type of meds that does NOT contain latex.  YAY!!! Things are looking up!!!
8.  They scheduled our next appointment for Wednesday and gave me some emergency meds to take home just in case we didn't have enough to make it thought the weekend.  Dr. S. said, "You better take them... the weekend is a lonely place to be without enough meds!"  See!! I told you he was much more personable!!
9.  As Mike and I were about to walk out the door I quickly turned around and said, "What happened to my other follicle!?!??! Why did I have less this time?"  Yes... this had been bothering me all along and being the freakshow I am, I just couldn't let it go!!! Dr. S. told me that it is perfectly normal for larger follicles to take over and for smaller follicles to die off.  OK!! I can accept that!!! We want big, plump, healthy follicles and that is what we have!!! :)
So, I left feeling pretty fabulous about our chances!!! :)

So, the plan is that we will go back on Monday... have an excellent appointment!!!! Then, we will stay up late (who am I kidding?!?!? We would have been awake anyway!!!) and do our HCG trigger shot (the one without the latex - it is a rump shot).  Then we will go for retrieval on Wednesday!!!! At that point I will have bed rest on Wednesday and Thursday and hope that we have some amazing little embryos growing at that point!!!! :)  If so we will implant on Saturday, Sunday, or Monday... it all depends on what those little babies need!!!!! :)

Things I learned from this appointment...
1. When the nurse says that I might want a different internal probe cover because it has latex and I could react... LISTEN TO HER!!! I reacted!! It is just as uncomfortable as it sounds!!! ;) I will definitely let her know that I need a differetn cover for Monday's appointment!!!
2.  Latex is an allergy you "grow into'.  Meaning that you are more likely to develop an allergy the more you are exposed to it... You have been warned!!!! ;)
3.  Sometimes good news is the best medicine you could ask for! And, it can be exhausting!!! I didn't realize that I was basically holding my breath for 2 days waiting to see if things were still going well. I couldn't believe the weight that was taken off my shoulders when I heard that things were looking good and that Dr. S. felt confident about next week!!!!  As soon as we left I instantly felt exhausted.. I realized how poorly I have been sleeping... and I took a short nap as soon as I got home!!
4.  Boys and girls handle infertility differently... and it is okay!  Mike is so good at taking this one day at a time and sometimes it is hard for me to accept the calm that he maintains... but, this is happening to my body.  I am reminded of it every second of every day because my body is not normal right now!!!  So, we will handle this differently, and that is just fine!!! As long as we are in it together, we don't have to feel the same along the way!! ;)
5. I am so thankful for an amazing support team that allows me to feel the way I feel!!
6.  Right now I feel like a pin cushion... and Mike said it is because I am one... and I look like one!!! ;) Thanks babe!!! ;)  HAHAHAHH!!!! P.S.  I really do!!!

I am currently feeling very "full" in the abdomen.  It is a normal feeling as everything continues to do what it is supposed to do, but it is still strange!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!  I will update if anything changes as the weekend continues on!
Thanks for everything!!!

Sonogram #1

This afternoon we went in for our first sonogram since starting the injections.  The first ovary (the good one) had 1 follicle.  I was a little disappointed to only see 1, but at least it looked good.  Then he went to the ovary that is stuck to the top of my uterus and it was covered!  There are 8 follicles on it!  As exciting as that is, my Dr. reminded me that it is not a good thing that the ovary is stuck to the very end of my uterus.  He said he would have to make a uterus shishkabob in order to retrieve from it.  His concern is whether the needle will be able to reach the follicles to retrieve from them.  BUT, at least he is willing to try!!! :)  We go back to check on the growth of these follicles on Friday.  Hopefully things will continue to progress at a good rate and we will be looking at retrieval next week.  We should know more after Friday's appointment, but we might not know for certain until after our appointment on Monday.  I guess I don't know how this works because we have not been at this point before! I was SHOCKED that I got to start my Ganarelix today... last time I went to Sonogram #1 I didn't have enough growth to start that medicine.  I took it once or twice during that cycle before it was cancelled, but I didn't do the injection at the office like it was planned.  This time I got to do the shot at the office, so I feel like we are really making progress!!! :)

It is very strange, but I can feel the follicles.  They are so small, but they are noticable.  It is a feeling that I felt last time as well.  I was so relieved when I found out they were follicles instead of a huge cyst again!  Hopefully these follicles contain eggs... quality eggs!!!

I have no idea if acupuncture has been a factor in the growth of these follicles or not, but I definitely feel that it has helped to reduce my stress level and it has kept me much more calm than I was last cycle.  I am so excited to share my news with my doctor and find out what he suggests for continued treatment.  It amazes when I think of the ways that God has continued to bring the idea of acupuncture into my life.  I am so thankful that I made the call and started to see Dr. Kitzman.  It has been a wonderful experience.

In other news... my sister has a baby bump now!!! There is really a little lady in there!!!! :)  We had family pictures over the weekend and the little princess is finally showing herself!!! It's about time... she is due to arrive at the beginning of February (Feb. 5th I believe)!!

Also, my nephew Rylan was born on the 13th!!!  He joined the awesome people who have birthdays/anniversaries on the 13th!! It is an elite group!! ;)  Hopefully we will get a chance to meet him soon!! :)  (And to see Braden and Kate!)

It is an exciting time for Aunt Julie and Uncle Mike!!!

Thank you for your continued support and prayers!!! I am so thankful for my team of supporters!  This process is not easy physically, mentally, or emotionally.  I couldn't do this without you!!!

I better get to sleep.  I have 2 shots to do in the morning!

Housekeeping

The last couple days I feared that housekeeping was going to walk into our hotel room and think we had some kind of crack house set up in there! Joking... kind of!!! But, the truth is that we had a lot of vials of medication and needles that we were contending with as we celebrated an exciting weekend at the Queen/Manker wedding!!  Housekeeping knocked on the door many times to check on us and make sure that we didn't need anything.  I was so thankful that we were in the room each time so that they didn't freak out at the sight of all of the meds!! ;)  I was also thankful when we packed everything back up and headed home without any incidents!!! :)

Yesterday we woke up at 6:45 to complete the 7:00 injection.  It was surprising, but we were kind of stumbling to get it right... how could we forget how to give the Folistem injection?!?!?  We did that one SOOOO frequently last time!  But, we did... which I think is a sign that someday this whole process will just be a distant memory and we will live normal lives that don't include getting up early for injections when we could sleep in, leaving events to go do an injection, or not going to events because leaving to do an injection just seems like a pain (hence the situation tonight!).  

Yesterday I realized that boys have it SOOOO easy on a wedding day!  Being the wife of the Best Man was AMAZING!!!! Absolutely AMAZING!!!! Even though we woke up early for the injection I  took at nap from 9 - 11 and I LOVED it!!!!!! Then lunch and a couple errands.  I took my time lounging and getting ready as I felt like it.  Had time to stop at Maurice's... Yes!!! AMAZING!!! AMAZING!!! AMAZING!! I couldn't believe that it was a typical day for the males in a wedding! WHAT!!! 

The ceremony was beautiful, the outdoor fall setting was perfect, and I was so happy to be there celebrating with good people who have been together for 10 years and now are officially married!!!  As the reception started the speeches were great, the food was delicious, and then it was time to zoom over to the hotel and make our first attempt at the Menapur mixing!  Let's just say that it didn't go as well as we had hoped.  We aren't really certain why, but our mixture wasn't quite right and we are determined to get it right tonight!!! We had to use something called a "Q-Cap" because it is what they sent us in the last med shipment. Tonight I am going to try something a little different because the "Q-Cap" is not working out.  It is causing some sort of vacuum that seemed to short us medication, but we know we started out with the right amount of saline.  So, we have some needles left from the meds I reacted to, so we will try those and hope things go better!  We were also late with the injection, so we will move it up 10 minutes a night until we are back on track.  Thankfully it was the first night, so it shouldn't be a big deal.  We talked to the nurses during the last cycle and they said we 10-12 minutes difference each night was perfectly acceptable.  

This morning the injection went very well except for the fact that I was SOOO exhausted!!! So exhausted!!  

I am getting ready to mix tonight's Menapur injection.  I am a little nervous, but I am certain that without the "Q-Cap" I will get it right! :)  

Though these injections are a pain... sometimes literally... I must say that it seems like a small price to pay for the opportunity to grow our family!  What a blessing and a miracle it is that these injections might be the answer we need! 

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers! 

Baseline Ultrasound

Yesterday we took a trip to Peoria... it was such a rainy, gloomy day.  At times I couldn't see anything in front of us while I drove.  We got to Methodist and there was a break in the rain that lasted long enough for us to make it inside.  YAY!!! :) Our appointment was for a baseline ultrasound.  My previous baseline ultrasound occured after I had already started injections, so I wasn't sure what to think about this appointment.  The doctor came in, did his business with the ultrasound wand, told me the first ovary looked good, and that the second ovary looked GOOD!!! WHAT??!?!?!? Then he said I had no cysts... WHAT?!?!?! When he left the room (2 minutes total face time) Mike and I looked at each other and said, "Looks good?!? Do you think he even looked at the right things?"  See, we have NEVER heard that both ovaries look good.  And we have never heard that I had no cysts!  The best that I have heard is that cysts were getting smaller.  So, obviously I did the only thing that makes sense... I said, "It must be the acupuncture!!!"  I realize that not everyone believes in the healing qualities of acupuncture, but I feel like it has been worth the long drives and the late nights from traveling up to Bettendorf for treatments (and worth the money... but at this point the costs of treatments are just a major thorn in my side... they keep racking up and I just keep writing checks, handing out my credit card, and hoping that some day this is all worth it!!!) So... though I will never truly know what made the difference I will not regret my decision to try acupuncture!  I have been thinking about it for years and I am thankful to the Lafever/Coulter family for encouraging me to try it!! :)  

So, next steps... Friday morning I will start injections.  Friday night at the Queen/Manker reception I will get to mix and inject a new medication for the first time.  YIKES!!!! Nothing like trying a new medication in a public place.  Mike said he thinks our hotel is very close to the reception site, so hopefully we will just run over there and take care of business.  The process of mixing the meds has me slightly freaked out, but I know I can do it! I might panic or cry, but I know I can do it!!! ;) 

I have an accupuncture appointment scheduled for Monday, but I think I should probably check with my doctor to see if he approves that type of treatment while under his care and giving myself injections morning and night.  Then, the following Wednesday when I will go in for my next ultrasound.  They will look for follicle growth at that point.  Hopefully the change in protocol will be just what I need to have a better outcome this time around!!  They will determine if it is the appropriate time for me to add a third medication to my protocol.  Last time they decided to have me wait a day before starting it.  I then have an appt. scheduled on Friday to check the progress that my follicles are making.  (This is where we were when everything was cancelled last time.)  If all looks well I will have another appointment on Monday the 27th and our target retrieval date is the 29th.  Then the next day they would inform us of how the retrieval went and then they would keep updated about the process from that point on.  

I am very glad that we are getting closer to injections.  Though we have been "in cycle" from the point that we started birth control again it didn't feel like it.  Once I start injections that is when I feel like we are actively working toward this goal!  

As we get closer to injections I feel like I am a lot calmer than I was last time.  I think it is because I kind of know what to expect.  Yes I am freaking out a bit about the new medication and mixing it correctly (1 cc of saline to 4 vials of the powder... I really don't want to mess it up considering the extreme expense of those vials!!!!), but I am not freaked out about the process itself at this point.  If I allow myself to think about the progesterone issue I get nervous that I will have a reaction again (understandable considering I haven't completely recovered from my first reaction).  But, overall, I feel that my prayers for peace with this process have really been answered.  I know that I have done absolutely everything I can to prepare myself for this cycle and there is nothing else I can do.  This is in God's hands now.  

So, when I pack for the wedding Wednesday night I will pack my injection bag and pull out my travel cooler for the meds that need refrigerated and hope for the best!  The fact that this isn't the first wedding reception we have had to do an injection during makes this a little less scary, but not much!! ;)  

I will keep the blog updated as we move forward.  Hopefully I will be posting soon that I feel like my ovaries are huge... and hopefully they will be huge with follicles this time instead of cysts!  

Time to watch Chicago Fire on DVR!!!! And, then time for bed!!!! Goodnight!!! 

Actupuncture and Chiro appt. #2

Tonight I went to Dr. Kitzman for the 2nd time.  I am excited that I can once again turn my head to the right again!!! WOOHOO!!! And, in other exciting news... the acupuncture chart things that were "split" are now evened out... which means that my right side and my left side agree with each other now.  I don't really know what any of it means, except that progress was made.  I will go back again on Thursday.  I am SO thankful to Mrs. Coulter for switching me appointments so that I didn't have to cancel!  Alison and Nadine are such amazing people and I am so thankful to them for encouraging me to make take a chance on this type of treatment.  I already feel less tension and that is a HUGE improvement!!! :)

As for the IVF meds... I finally was able to get the specialists office, pharmacy, and insurance company on the same page.  Unfortunately it means that I will have to do a different type of progesterone.  Now I will have to do a gel applicator internally. :/  They said I could still have an allergic reaction so I need to be careful.  I can't imagine hives THERE!!!! AHHHHH!!! I am pretty much freaking out!!! But, this is an option that is covered by insurance and LESS LIKELY to cause an allergic reaction, so I am going to put my big girl panties on and go for it.  My baseline sonogram is next Monday and the plan is to start injections on Friday, October 17th.  We will be attending a wedding and reception that afternoon/evening, so I will once again get the pleasure of injecting myself during a reception!  WOW!!! I have great timing!!! ;)  Mike is the best man, so hopefully he can sneak away long enough to help me! Otherwise I am sure it will come back to me like riding a bike!! ;)

Thank you to everyone for your continued support through this crazy journey.  I feel like I am on the path to human again.  I was in really bad shape for a while and the path was pretty scary.  Thanks for not giving up on me while I was in a pretty negative and depressed place.  I feel like I am able to be positive again now that I have started working to make progress!  Waiting wasn't a good place for me!

Tomorrow marks 11 years that Mike and I have been together!! WOW!!! I have been with him for 1/3rd of my life!!!! He should feel pretty lucky!!! ;) heheheh!!!!
Seriously though, 11 years!! What a milestone! I am so thankful for the relationship we have built over the last 11 years and I am excited for our future together!

Have a wonderful evening!
Julie

Acupuncture!

Well I officially decided that doing NOTHING was not going to work for me emotionally, so I made an appointment and I went to see a chiropractor who is also an acupunturist (If that is a real title!??!). My decision making process for this situation was, "What do I have to lose?!"  And, the answer to that is "Absolutely nothing!".  I have been thinking about this for a LONG time and I feel that it keeps coming to me as something I should try.  I pray to God on a regular basis that he will guide me toward the path we are supposed to take and acupuncture repeatedly presents itself, SO I thought I would go for it.  Dr. Kitzman is out of Bettendorf, IA.  He was extremely nice and seemed to genuinely want to help me win this battle against infertility!  I appreciated the time he spent with me and the fact that he fit me in next week even though I saw the calendar and he is VERY busy! He said that if it was his wife having these issues he would want her receiving treatment 3-5 times per week... he said he knows that it isn't possible for that to happen for me, so he wants to fit me into his schedule the best that my schedule allows. We settled on twice a week for now (unfortunately I already have to cancel one session next week due to a meeting, but at least I had good intentions!!).  My hope for this process is to balance out my hormones through these treatments and to reduce some of the stress that my body is under.  I am a total mess at this point and I need to destress before treatment starts in order to be prepared for everything that we will face.  It is my hope that these treatments will help my stress levels to decrease and that in the process my hormones will start to level out over time.  He said  that the treatment I did was kind of a "reset" of sorts.  So, we will see what my levels are when I go back on Monday.  Hopefully they aren't as crazy as they were this time.

So, how do I feel after one treatment?!?  Well, to be honest, I don't feel a heck of a lot different.  I would say that I feel that have less tension, but that is relative because my muscles are so tense that they are causing bursitis in my right shoulder and causing my posture to become increasingly poor.  Unfortunately I carry stress MAJORLY in my shoulders and neck.  I also clinch my jaw a lot and grind my teeth in the night or when working sometimes.  So, a goal of mine is to rid my body of the excessive levels of tension, which should help me to feel MUCH better!!!! I am going to seek out ways to try to ease the tension in my muscles, I have already tried electrode therapy, massage, a roller table at a different chiro, a roller tube that I roll over before sleeping... so many things I can't even count, but my back, shoulders, and neck remain in knots! It is pretty ridiculous actually!! Every massage therapist and chiropractor I have seen has commented on the degree that my tension is at.  I need to start focusing on that more intensely!

In other IVF news, the insurance company is still refusing to pay for a change in my progesterone injections EVEN THOUGH I had an allergic reaction to the previous one.  I spoke to someone and they said that the new meds would cost $50 per vial.  I don't know if that is a lot more than we paid previously or not, considering how high the cost of my meds were for the last cycle (even though we weren't able to complete it).  So, I have a lot of investigating to do and I need to get it done SOON!  The sad thing is that they aren't even certain that I won't react to this type of injection.  So, I could go through this again and I am not healed from the first reaction yet.  GEESH!!! ;)

As we get closer to the 13th I am starting to get nervous and excited.  Going to acupuncture yesterday eased some of my depression and stress over the waiting.  I feel like I took a step toward trying to make this work out, so that was good for my outlook on life.  In all honesty I have been worried about myself lately.  I have been very much unlike myself and it got to where I felt as if I had no control over myself anymore.  I don't like that feeling at all and I hope it continues to fade away!

I truly appreciate those of you who continue to support us through thoughts and prayers.  I know that things will start to get crazy and intense again soon, but hopefully this will be just what we need to grow our family!!

Have a wonderful weekend!
Julie