What a week!! A lot of stressful things occurred, but luckily everything is okay!
Last Sunday night I was lounging on our couch and felt a little bit of discomfort in my left breast. When I felt it to see what was going on I felt a large lump... the size of a bouncy ball. I immediately freaked out because on August 18th I had felt that same thing and I thought that it was a fluke because I hadn't been able to find it again. The fact that it was a month later and I could feel it made me realize that it hadn't gone away... I realized that every time I checked for it I was standing and both times that I felt it I had been lounging on the couch. So, I spent the night freaking out and didn't get much sleep. I called my gynocologists office first thing in the morning. They asked me to come in that afternoon for an appointment. They confirmed that I had a lump, told me that they hoped it was a cyst, and they scheduled a mammogram for Wednesday at the Komen Center in Peoria. They were SO wonderful!! They were SO supportive!! They told me that I had done the right thing by calling right away! I felt nervous when I left, but they assured me that they would do everything necessary to assure that I was okay.
To say I was nervous is an understatement! I couldn't believe that I had a bouncy ball sized lump and had only noticed it once before. When I got to the Komen Center I was greeted by kind ladies. There were so many people there of all different ages. They gave me a little pager type thing and some paperwork to complete. Then I waited. When my buzzer went off I was greeted by a kind lady who I found out had been in the field for 30 years. I can't even imagine how many mammograms she has completed in 30 years!!! She gave me a pink robe and pointed out the changing room and lockers for my things. She then told me to take a seat in the interior waiting room until she came to get me. Once she came to get me we went into the room with the machine that would complete my mammogram. I was FREAKING out because so many people have told me that they are horrible. A friend had told me that it wasn't horrible, only a little uncomfortable, but I couldn't help but recall the years and years of horrible things I had heard about them... Then we started the process and I realized that it wasn't bad at all. Yes, it was a little awkward to have my boob on a surface with a plastic piece putting pressure down onto it... but, this lady sees this every day and the pressure was less than when I am elbowed in the chest... which happens more frequently than one would think. It is truly AMAZING that a little bit of awkwardness and a little bit of pressure is all that is necessary to detect cancer and save a life!!!! After standing in a couple different positions so that they could get a full view it was over!
At this point I was sent back to the interior waiting room. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect... I should have asked the technician more questions!! There were a few other ladies in the waiting room, one was exceptionally nervous. She had developed a nervous cough. I started to worry about her and stopped worrying about myself. I got up and got her a mint out of my locker. I talked with her a bit and passed time until a new person came to get me... I have to admit that I was a little nervous when I realized that I had been passed to a new person. The lady was very nice and showed me a picture of the scans. She showed me that there was tissue blocking the area where the lump was. She told me that the radiologist would be coming in to do a sonogram. I began to get very nervous. The radiologist came in and questioned me about when I had noticed the lump. She said that it is very sizable and that it is strange that I didn't notice it earlier. She said that they had also found another small spot on the scans. At this point I REALLY freaked out because of the second spot!!!! She completed the sonogram over the large lump and was very pleased to tell me that it was only a large cyst that measured 2.5 cm x 2.5 cm. She said that it is very deep into the tissue, which is probably why it was hard for me to locate while standing up. She then checked my smaller spot and was able to confirm that it was also a cyst! She said that it was the best outcome that I could have gotten. She said that the first cyst is sizable enough that I might want to get it drained at some point, but otherwise I would not need to do anything. They gave me a diagnosis sheet that stated that everything was "normal"!! I then made calls, sent texts, and went to Cold Stone Creamery!!!! :)
The week ended with parent/teacher conferences... which are always nerve wrecking because talking to adults can be hard!!! Not that working with kiddos isn't hard, but adults are harder for me!
Add in a wide variety of other craziness and super stressful stuff that was going on in our lives and the week added up to be pretty craptastic! Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful that the results were fantastic!! It is just that I had so many "plans" for how the week would go and they didn't go ANYTHING like I had planned!!! One would think that by now I would just stop trying to plan!!!!
I must say that one blessing that came from all of this is that I feel better knowing that things are looking good and that we are now even more prepared for Iowa City because I have had a good left side mammogram. IVF treatments can cause all kinds of crazy stuff, so I am thankful that things turned out the way they did!!
It seems as though October 22nd is a million years away! But, I know that it will be here before we know it. University of Iowa here we come!
Final thought for the weekend... DO NOT put off a mammogram!!! They save lives and they are mearly a little awkward and slightly uncomfortable!!!! TOTALLY worth the peace of mind!!!!!!
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Iowa City
Today an "Unknown" caller came across my phone and I wondered whether I should answer. Since it was my planning period I decided that I might as well take the chance... thank goodness!!! It turns out that the call was from the University of Iowa IVF Institute!! I am so excited!! We have an appointment set up for October 22nd. I know that that seems far away, but at this point we are used to waiting!!
Some new things are going on in our lives:
1. We have decided to change our diets. This is mostly changing Mike's diet/eating habits, but it is a change for me in the fact that we are doing more planning instead of blind purchasing when it comes to food! We are only on day 3 of this, but so far, so good!!
2. We are walking every day! When we get home from work we are walking for at least 30 minutes. I am also getting up in the morning and walking and running. This is a change for both of us. I used to walk a lot, and when we lived in Macomb we rode our bikes 8 - 10 miles a night. But, we have only used our bikes a few times since we moved over 4 years ago. And I haven't walked nearly as much since we started IVF treatments a year ago. We completed day 4 of this today and we hope to continue!!
3. I bought a Fitbit Charge HR. Many of you probably know that I am an extremely competitive person. SOOO... this has been great! I HAVE to reach the daily goals or it would make me crazy. SO, it forces me to keep moving all the time. And it is good because it gives Mike and I a report about our nightly walks! It is also charting my sleep and I see that once I get passed the initial hour of restlessness and awake time (yes... it shows that I am a mess for at least an hour when I go to bed) I am actually sleeping really well!! Except for the day that I woke up a gazillion times during the first hour and then again 3 hours later. :/
4. The school routine is going well. I am feeling good about staying in the same position and room as last year. I feel like things are going very well!! :)
5. I have read a lot about people with adenomyosis and I am getting excited about the changes that might occur once they start me on the lupron (If that is what Iowa City decides to do!)!!! I hate that my uterus is so large that it gives me the "pregnant look", but there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it without medical intervention. I just keep replaying the doctors reaction to my "huge" uterus! Now that I am a month out from that visit I can laugh about it and recognize how funny it is that my body has once again shocked a doctor! ;)
I have to admit that I am very anxious to get started with treatment, I am looking forward to hearing the opinions of the team at University of Iowa, and I am hopeful that they will be ready to hit the ground running! Honestly though, October 22nd will be here before we know it!!
6. We are still LOVING the new couch and coffee table!!! It was totally worth the wait!!! :)
7. My little sister turned 30, which she didn't mind at all because she LOVES her birthday... but it made me feel super old!! HAHAHH!
8. I made meatload tonight that was loosely based off of a recipe that I found on pintrest... Mike said it was the best meatloaf imaginable! He said he would have paid $20 for it at a restuarant! He said a million different fabulous things about it! The funny thing is that I prefer my old recipe to this one, but it made him so happy that this will be the new recipe from here on out!! :) Maybe I will try some other new recipes sometime soon!
Thanks for reading my ramblings! This is what life is like at the Team McVey Headquarters! ;) We are trying to change into "adults" through eating better and living better! Hopefully this is not just a phase! ;)
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers as we wait to find out what they would like to do with our case in Iowa City! Prayers that God will guide the IVF team and that he will lead them to the protocol that will answer our prayers! Prayers that I will keep faith in God's timing! Mike is SOO good at keeping this in mind. I am the one who struggles with this. I hate to admit it, but I can be quite impatient!! I am currently doing pretty well... most of the time. I worried that my morning walks/runs would be a time that I just focused on this, but it honestly hasn't been at all!
Have a wonderful week! I am going to go to bed so that I can get my hour of restlessness out of the way! ;)
Some new things are going on in our lives:
1. We have decided to change our diets. This is mostly changing Mike's diet/eating habits, but it is a change for me in the fact that we are doing more planning instead of blind purchasing when it comes to food! We are only on day 3 of this, but so far, so good!!
2. We are walking every day! When we get home from work we are walking for at least 30 minutes. I am also getting up in the morning and walking and running. This is a change for both of us. I used to walk a lot, and when we lived in Macomb we rode our bikes 8 - 10 miles a night. But, we have only used our bikes a few times since we moved over 4 years ago. And I haven't walked nearly as much since we started IVF treatments a year ago. We completed day 4 of this today and we hope to continue!!
3. I bought a Fitbit Charge HR. Many of you probably know that I am an extremely competitive person. SOOO... this has been great! I HAVE to reach the daily goals or it would make me crazy. SO, it forces me to keep moving all the time. And it is good because it gives Mike and I a report about our nightly walks! It is also charting my sleep and I see that once I get passed the initial hour of restlessness and awake time (yes... it shows that I am a mess for at least an hour when I go to bed) I am actually sleeping really well!! Except for the day that I woke up a gazillion times during the first hour and then again 3 hours later. :/
4. The school routine is going well. I am feeling good about staying in the same position and room as last year. I feel like things are going very well!! :)
5. I have read a lot about people with adenomyosis and I am getting excited about the changes that might occur once they start me on the lupron (If that is what Iowa City decides to do!)!!! I hate that my uterus is so large that it gives me the "pregnant look", but there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it without medical intervention. I just keep replaying the doctors reaction to my "huge" uterus! Now that I am a month out from that visit I can laugh about it and recognize how funny it is that my body has once again shocked a doctor! ;)
I have to admit that I am very anxious to get started with treatment, I am looking forward to hearing the opinions of the team at University of Iowa, and I am hopeful that they will be ready to hit the ground running! Honestly though, October 22nd will be here before we know it!!
6. We are still LOVING the new couch and coffee table!!! It was totally worth the wait!!! :)
7. My little sister turned 30, which she didn't mind at all because she LOVES her birthday... but it made me feel super old!! HAHAHH!
8. I made meatload tonight that was loosely based off of a recipe that I found on pintrest... Mike said it was the best meatloaf imaginable! He said he would have paid $20 for it at a restuarant! He said a million different fabulous things about it! The funny thing is that I prefer my old recipe to this one, but it made him so happy that this will be the new recipe from here on out!! :) Maybe I will try some other new recipes sometime soon!
Thanks for reading my ramblings! This is what life is like at the Team McVey Headquarters! ;) We are trying to change into "adults" through eating better and living better! Hopefully this is not just a phase! ;)
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers as we wait to find out what they would like to do with our case in Iowa City! Prayers that God will guide the IVF team and that he will lead them to the protocol that will answer our prayers! Prayers that I will keep faith in God's timing! Mike is SOO good at keeping this in mind. I am the one who struggles with this. I hate to admit it, but I can be quite impatient!! I am currently doing pretty well... most of the time. I worried that my morning walks/runs would be a time that I just focused on this, but it honestly hasn't been at all!
Have a wonderful week! I am going to go to bed so that I can get my hour of restlessness out of the way! ;)
Sunday, September 6, 2015
MRI Results
Wednesday afternoon I called the Oakbrook office because I had not heard from them regarding my August 24th MRI. "The Bomb.com" answered (see previous post about this facility!!) and said that she would have to have a nurse call me back. So, I went about my day and got a call back in the late afternoon/early evening. Nurse S (the nurse that I am convinced changes her name on different days of the week because Nurse H and Nurse H2 sound just like her!!) confirmed that I had called about my MRI and said, "We were ruling out Adenomyosis." I said, "Okay." She said, "You have Adenomyosis." So... I guess she meant that the MRI was to rule out Adenomyosis, not that they had ruled out Adenomysosis!!! I went from pleasantly surprised to bummed very quickly. She then said that the MRI showed that I have endometriosis again, two endometriomas (the endometriosis filled cysts that are only removed through surgery), and endometriosis in my colorectal area. Though I was fairly certain that the endometriosis had returned, I was very surprised that they were able to see it in the MRI. They had told me previously that they would have to do a laparoscopy to diagnose endometriosis, but unfortunaely it has already returned severely enough that they could see it on the MRI. At that point I asked Nurse S what the plan was. She said, I don't know, what did Dr. R tell you? I said that I had not spoken to him since he told me to have the MRI. She said, "Well, then you need to schedule a consult with him, but he will be out of town for two weeks starting Friday." That was the end of our conversation. I said that I would call and set up an appointment for when he got back, but in the back of my mind I was thinking "Shoot, I don't want to have to drive up to Oakbrook for a consult AGAIN!!!!" I called Mike and told him what they said. He said that same thing that I was thinking... that he didn't feel that we should have to drive up there for him to give us a plan. He said that he feels that it is something that could be handled by phone or even email! HAHAH! And, he is not wrong. Dr. R had said that if diagnosed with Adenomyosis we would have to put me into menopause in order to attempt to shrink my uterus. So, I feel that they should be able to call in those injections and let me get started! Geesh! I am not getting any younger!!!! ;)
Mike and I also talked about getting a second opinion about protocol from Iowa City. I had hoped to have Dr. R's plan BEFORE checking with the University of Iowa, but since he is out of town I don't think we should waste time. I called Iowa City on Thursday to see if they had anyone who specialized in Adenomyosis/Endometriosis and the woman who had answered my call said that she really couldn't give me any information until we sent in our information. At that point, a nurse would call us and discuss our case/set up an appointment. She said that when the nurse calls I can tell her that I had an MRI completed at their hospital and that that nurse can then put it in my file to look up the results in their system. I must admit that it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but was not surprising either! Though I want facilities to be able to immediately answer my questions regarding their specialization, it just isn't the reality of how all of this works. So, since I had already filled out the paperwork in April I just needed Mike's signature to be able to send it off. Now we just wait and see what happens! Hopefully SOMEONE in their practice has knowledge about these conditions and give us their opinion!!
This weekend marks 6 full years that we have tried to grow our family. We are entering our 7th year of infertility and it seems as though we are no closer to holding a healthy child in our arms than we ever were. Looking back on this journey it is hard to believe that though significant events have occurred... surgeries, IUI, IVF, numerous opinions from doctors, countless medications... very little has actually changed.
For years I have prayed that God would help me to know when our time was up. That he would help me to know if children were not in his plan for us. That he would help me to be at peace with His plan for our lives. I have prayed to be happy. I have prayed for our family to grow. I have prayed that our marriage will be strengthened, not strained by all of this. I have prayed SO many things. BUT, I have NOT prayed for patience while we wait, because I don't want him to continue to put me in situations that will require me to be patient!!! ;) HAHAH! Moving forward and pushing for answers is what is keeping me sane! (Barely!!) People make comments about the way that I handle every diagnosis, every disappointment, every negative outcome... but the truth is that if I let myself wallow I won't make it! I honestly don't think I would be able to pull myself out of the pit! When I catch myself falling back into the what if game I realize that it will eat me alive!!! YES, I truly believe that if we would have been able to continue with my original Reproductive Endocriniologist who had diagnosed me with Adenomyosis over a year and a half ago we would be in a completely different place. BUT, that obviously wasn't meant to be our story! For some reason I am supposed to have a HUGE uterus and a hot mess of a pelvis!! ;) Who knows... maybe one of these med students at University of Iowa is going to have the medical breakthrough of our lifetime while studying my case!! Maybe our child is meant to be born at a certain time so that he/she can be the first president to have ever been frozen!! (I am only guessing that none of the presidents were once frozen embryos!) Maybe we will never know why!!!
For now, while we wait, we will continue to come up with crazy ideas... this week we were looking at RV's online after watching a marathon about RV living! HAHHA!! We spent hours looking at the options! In the past we have had other crazy ideas about where life is leading us. I am convinced that life is taking me to a beach... whether it is the beach at Lake Warren or the beach along one of the coasts... I am meant to be on the water!! I can just feel it!!! ;) And I am pretty certain that I am supposed to pass that love of the water on to future generations!! Whether I pass that love on as Aunt Julie/Juju or on to my own children. Mike on the other hand is not a water lover, so maybe he can just watch football in the RV!! ;)
Thank you for your continued support! Who knew that the saga would continue this long and that so many people would open their hearts up to us! Please know that we appreciate your thoughts and prayers! As we move forward, we will continue to need your prayers that our records make it to the hands of the person who can help us to make this happen!
Have a wonderful Labor Day Weekend!!!
P.S. I am SOOOO excited for Cider Slushies, Haystack Onion Rings, and FUNNEL CAKE this week at the Prime Beef Festival!!!!! The simple joys in life!!! Now, I just have to remember to pace myself and space out the treats throughout the week so that I don't get a tummy ache!!! :)
Mike and I also talked about getting a second opinion about protocol from Iowa City. I had hoped to have Dr. R's plan BEFORE checking with the University of Iowa, but since he is out of town I don't think we should waste time. I called Iowa City on Thursday to see if they had anyone who specialized in Adenomyosis/Endometriosis and the woman who had answered my call said that she really couldn't give me any information until we sent in our information. At that point, a nurse would call us and discuss our case/set up an appointment. She said that when the nurse calls I can tell her that I had an MRI completed at their hospital and that that nurse can then put it in my file to look up the results in their system. I must admit that it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but was not surprising either! Though I want facilities to be able to immediately answer my questions regarding their specialization, it just isn't the reality of how all of this works. So, since I had already filled out the paperwork in April I just needed Mike's signature to be able to send it off. Now we just wait and see what happens! Hopefully SOMEONE in their practice has knowledge about these conditions and give us their opinion!!
This weekend marks 6 full years that we have tried to grow our family. We are entering our 7th year of infertility and it seems as though we are no closer to holding a healthy child in our arms than we ever were. Looking back on this journey it is hard to believe that though significant events have occurred... surgeries, IUI, IVF, numerous opinions from doctors, countless medications... very little has actually changed.
For years I have prayed that God would help me to know when our time was up. That he would help me to know if children were not in his plan for us. That he would help me to be at peace with His plan for our lives. I have prayed to be happy. I have prayed for our family to grow. I have prayed that our marriage will be strengthened, not strained by all of this. I have prayed SO many things. BUT, I have NOT prayed for patience while we wait, because I don't want him to continue to put me in situations that will require me to be patient!!! ;) HAHAH! Moving forward and pushing for answers is what is keeping me sane! (Barely!!) People make comments about the way that I handle every diagnosis, every disappointment, every negative outcome... but the truth is that if I let myself wallow I won't make it! I honestly don't think I would be able to pull myself out of the pit! When I catch myself falling back into the what if game I realize that it will eat me alive!!! YES, I truly believe that if we would have been able to continue with my original Reproductive Endocriniologist who had diagnosed me with Adenomyosis over a year and a half ago we would be in a completely different place. BUT, that obviously wasn't meant to be our story! For some reason I am supposed to have a HUGE uterus and a hot mess of a pelvis!! ;) Who knows... maybe one of these med students at University of Iowa is going to have the medical breakthrough of our lifetime while studying my case!! Maybe our child is meant to be born at a certain time so that he/she can be the first president to have ever been frozen!! (I am only guessing that none of the presidents were once frozen embryos!) Maybe we will never know why!!!
For now, while we wait, we will continue to come up with crazy ideas... this week we were looking at RV's online after watching a marathon about RV living! HAHHA!! We spent hours looking at the options! In the past we have had other crazy ideas about where life is leading us. I am convinced that life is taking me to a beach... whether it is the beach at Lake Warren or the beach along one of the coasts... I am meant to be on the water!! I can just feel it!!! ;) And I am pretty certain that I am supposed to pass that love of the water on to future generations!! Whether I pass that love on as Aunt Julie/Juju or on to my own children. Mike on the other hand is not a water lover, so maybe he can just watch football in the RV!! ;)
Thank you for your continued support! Who knew that the saga would continue this long and that so many people would open their hearts up to us! Please know that we appreciate your thoughts and prayers! As we move forward, we will continue to need your prayers that our records make it to the hands of the person who can help us to make this happen!
Have a wonderful Labor Day Weekend!!!
P.S. I am SOOOO excited for Cider Slushies, Haystack Onion Rings, and FUNNEL CAKE this week at the Prime Beef Festival!!!!! The simple joys in life!!! Now, I just have to remember to pace myself and space out the treats throughout the week so that I don't get a tummy ache!!! :)
Sunday, August 23, 2015
MRI
Tomorrow evening we will be in Iowa City so that I can have an abdominal MRI. Though I am ready for it and hopeful that it will give us answers, I am also extremely nervous. Setting the MRI up was a nightmare that I will probably write a blog about soon... Now that it is here, I am anxious. The idea of trying to be still for over an hour seems impossible! The thought of another IV makes me nautious because of the trouble that nurses have had in the past. But, the most frightening thing is that after this we will know for certain if what the doctor saw was adenomyosis and we will also have an idea of how severe it is.
Today I have had many thoughts pass through my mind...
1. I have thought about that fact that the adenomyosis could be so bad that they determine that we cannot transfer the embryo that we have. What then?
2. I have thought about the plan that I was told... completing a fresh cycle, but freezing all embryos. Then putting me into menopause and hoping that it helps to shrink the adenomyosis and, therefore, my uterus. But, what happens if we have the embryos and then my uterus doesn't shrink... what then?
3. I wondered whether we would attempt to come up with the money to use a gestational carrier. But I just don't know if that is even something that is feasible.
4. I thought of the horrible things that could go wrong for that carrier and how horrible I would feel... and determined that I would never be able to move beyond that.
5. I thought that all of this thinking is just making me crazy!!! HAHAH!! Yep... I actually thought that and said that to Mike while we were eating dinner tonight!
The truth is that we really don't know what will come from this... And it is easy for people to say that I need to stay calm... But another thought that I had is that each time we go to a doctor they seem to find something else that is wrong with me! They really do. There is never anything that is exciting. There is never anything that is sunshine and rainbows and it is HARD to be strong through it all. As I walked out the door this morning I thought to myself, "I am so sick of having to be strong." That thought stopped me in my tracks. I didn't see it coming. What led to that thought?!?! I simply walked by the letter from Iowa City.
Tomorrow will be the first day for kiddos in the 2015-2016 school year. It is a new beginning! I have watched so many people post pictures of their kiddos on their first day of school. It is crazy to think that if we had gotten pregnant when we had initially intended to we would have a kindergartener this year!! Seriously!! That really brings this journey into perspective!!! The end of this month will mark 6 years of trying to grow our family. And hopefully the end of this month will also be a time in which we are creating a new plan for growing our family. A new plan that takes into account all of the issues that we are facing.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! I am sure I will need them tomorrow!!! :)
Today I have had many thoughts pass through my mind...
1. I have thought about that fact that the adenomyosis could be so bad that they determine that we cannot transfer the embryo that we have. What then?
2. I have thought about the plan that I was told... completing a fresh cycle, but freezing all embryos. Then putting me into menopause and hoping that it helps to shrink the adenomyosis and, therefore, my uterus. But, what happens if we have the embryos and then my uterus doesn't shrink... what then?
3. I wondered whether we would attempt to come up with the money to use a gestational carrier. But I just don't know if that is even something that is feasible.
4. I thought of the horrible things that could go wrong for that carrier and how horrible I would feel... and determined that I would never be able to move beyond that.
5. I thought that all of this thinking is just making me crazy!!! HAHAH!! Yep... I actually thought that and said that to Mike while we were eating dinner tonight!
The truth is that we really don't know what will come from this... And it is easy for people to say that I need to stay calm... But another thought that I had is that each time we go to a doctor they seem to find something else that is wrong with me! They really do. There is never anything that is exciting. There is never anything that is sunshine and rainbows and it is HARD to be strong through it all. As I walked out the door this morning I thought to myself, "I am so sick of having to be strong." That thought stopped me in my tracks. I didn't see it coming. What led to that thought?!?! I simply walked by the letter from Iowa City.
Tomorrow will be the first day for kiddos in the 2015-2016 school year. It is a new beginning! I have watched so many people post pictures of their kiddos on their first day of school. It is crazy to think that if we had gotten pregnant when we had initially intended to we would have a kindergartener this year!! Seriously!! That really brings this journey into perspective!!! The end of this month will mark 6 years of trying to grow our family. And hopefully the end of this month will also be a time in which we are creating a new plan for growing our family. A new plan that takes into account all of the issues that we are facing.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! I am sure I will need them tomorrow!!! :)
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Oak Brook
Today Mike and I traveled to Oak Brook and met a new doctor. He talked to us about our journey and about options moving forward. He told me to start accupuncture again, to start taking DHEA supplements, and suggested that we piggy back fresh cycles to try to collect as many eggs as possible due to my depleted AMH level. He also said that he wanted to test my thyroid levels because he could see my thyroid when I swallow and that should not be the case. We felt like he listened and he answered questions.
Then, he said that he would do an exam. He sent Mike to the waiting room and I went with him and a woman who I assume is a nurse (not sure... I know her name, not her title) to an exam room. (I must admit that I thought it was strange that Mike was sent away... I am not sure of the reasoning behind it. Maybe they didn't realize that he had been there for all other ultrasounds and they thought he would be uncomfortable... who knows. I will definitely ask that they allow him back there in the future though!) Less than a second after the ultrasound started the doctor stated that my uterus was HUGE and that he felt that I have adenomyosis. (You might recognize that diagnosis from SHER in Peoria. Dr. Horowitz diagnosed me with it, but I was not treated for it because we had to switch facilities and the new facility did not feel that I had any issues.) He immediately told the person in "nurse" that I would need an abdominal MRI. Then he took a lot of measurements and showed and explained to me exactly why he thought adenomyosis was a problem. My uterus is not pear shaped like it should be, it is huge and round. It is not symmetrical, one side is almost twice the size of the other. He continued to measure and print pictures for my file. He ordered many blood tests and told the "nurse" to make sure that I was given a script to have the abdominal MRI completed in Iowa City.
He said that we will have to wait for the results of the blood work and the MRI to move forward. He said that depending on how things go he thinks we should complete a fresh cycle, but freeze all of the embryos. Then they will give me Lupron to put me into menopause for 3-4 months. At that point they would reassess and determine if the Lupron was "shrinking" my uterus. They would determine at that point if they felt that I would need another surgery. They said that the first couple months (up to 3 months) are the best chance for someone with stage 4 endometriosis to get pregnant. So, they would attempt a frozen cycle as quickly after surgery as possible. But, we will have to wait for the results of all tests before we know what we are facing.
I read quite a few things about adenomyosis tonight and none of it was very encouraging considering the current size of my uterus. He told me that it is a hostile enviroment and that transfering embryos into it would not be a good idea. Hopefully between the MRI and the blood work we will get a good picture of what is happening with my body and we will be able to determine what I need to do to best prepare my body to carry a child at some point in the future.
I asked the doctor about the fact that I gained SOOO much weight during the last cycle and he said that he feels that it was stress. (Of course hormones and injections played a part, too) He did an amazing job of describing what all of this does to a woman's body physically and mentally. He said that if it was something other than stress it would have come off by now. He said that accupuncture should help lower stress. He also said that I should not worry about trying to lose it at this point. He said I could spend the entire day in the gym just to lose 1 pound. I guess this is extremely common for people who go through repeated cycles and years of infertility. He said that my thyroid could also be a culprit. I was hoping there was a quick fix for all of this, but of course that is not true!! ;) It is hard not to be self conscious about the additional weight, but I am going to try to remember that stressing about it is only making my overall well being WORSE!!!
Overall, we were very happy with our experience with the doctor today. He seemed very knowledgable. The "nurse" was pretty flaky... once the doctor left she took me to the phlebotomist and couldn't keep the names of the labs straight... even I knew what they needed to be. She said that she had just eaten and was in a "coma" from lunch. Then, when she was going over the IVF packet she was all over the place, left to go get me the MRI script, came back without it, asked me where we were at in the process, remembered that she needed the MRI script, left again... it was totally bizarre! Mike would have been livid if he saw the chaos. SO... I guess it is true that we will never find a perfect place... every facility has their strengths and weaknesses!! HAHHA!
I will keep you updated as we continue with the MRI and wait for the results of my blood work. Though I was hoping for better news today I am not going to let this get me down. They kept telling me that as long as we are able to retrieve eggs we have plenty of time to try to prepare my uterus for transfer. They kept saying that I am young because I am "not 35 yet"! This was hilarious to me because I am just over 11 months from 35! And, if it wasn't for my conditions 35 wouldn't be old at all!!
Thank you for your support!! I appreciate the messages and texts checking on us!!!
I know that God has a plan for us and though it can be hard to accept, I know that things will work out perfectly in the end!
Then, he said that he would do an exam. He sent Mike to the waiting room and I went with him and a woman who I assume is a nurse (not sure... I know her name, not her title) to an exam room. (I must admit that I thought it was strange that Mike was sent away... I am not sure of the reasoning behind it. Maybe they didn't realize that he had been there for all other ultrasounds and they thought he would be uncomfortable... who knows. I will definitely ask that they allow him back there in the future though!) Less than a second after the ultrasound started the doctor stated that my uterus was HUGE and that he felt that I have adenomyosis. (You might recognize that diagnosis from SHER in Peoria. Dr. Horowitz diagnosed me with it, but I was not treated for it because we had to switch facilities and the new facility did not feel that I had any issues.) He immediately told the person in "nurse" that I would need an abdominal MRI. Then he took a lot of measurements and showed and explained to me exactly why he thought adenomyosis was a problem. My uterus is not pear shaped like it should be, it is huge and round. It is not symmetrical, one side is almost twice the size of the other. He continued to measure and print pictures for my file. He ordered many blood tests and told the "nurse" to make sure that I was given a script to have the abdominal MRI completed in Iowa City.
He said that we will have to wait for the results of the blood work and the MRI to move forward. He said that depending on how things go he thinks we should complete a fresh cycle, but freeze all of the embryos. Then they will give me Lupron to put me into menopause for 3-4 months. At that point they would reassess and determine if the Lupron was "shrinking" my uterus. They would determine at that point if they felt that I would need another surgery. They said that the first couple months (up to 3 months) are the best chance for someone with stage 4 endometriosis to get pregnant. So, they would attempt a frozen cycle as quickly after surgery as possible. But, we will have to wait for the results of all tests before we know what we are facing.
I read quite a few things about adenomyosis tonight and none of it was very encouraging considering the current size of my uterus. He told me that it is a hostile enviroment and that transfering embryos into it would not be a good idea. Hopefully between the MRI and the blood work we will get a good picture of what is happening with my body and we will be able to determine what I need to do to best prepare my body to carry a child at some point in the future.
I asked the doctor about the fact that I gained SOOO much weight during the last cycle and he said that he feels that it was stress. (Of course hormones and injections played a part, too) He did an amazing job of describing what all of this does to a woman's body physically and mentally. He said that if it was something other than stress it would have come off by now. He said that accupuncture should help lower stress. He also said that I should not worry about trying to lose it at this point. He said I could spend the entire day in the gym just to lose 1 pound. I guess this is extremely common for people who go through repeated cycles and years of infertility. He said that my thyroid could also be a culprit. I was hoping there was a quick fix for all of this, but of course that is not true!! ;) It is hard not to be self conscious about the additional weight, but I am going to try to remember that stressing about it is only making my overall well being WORSE!!!
Overall, we were very happy with our experience with the doctor today. He seemed very knowledgable. The "nurse" was pretty flaky... once the doctor left she took me to the phlebotomist and couldn't keep the names of the labs straight... even I knew what they needed to be. She said that she had just eaten and was in a "coma" from lunch. Then, when she was going over the IVF packet she was all over the place, left to go get me the MRI script, came back without it, asked me where we were at in the process, remembered that she needed the MRI script, left again... it was totally bizarre! Mike would have been livid if he saw the chaos. SO... I guess it is true that we will never find a perfect place... every facility has their strengths and weaknesses!! HAHHA!
I will keep you updated as we continue with the MRI and wait for the results of my blood work. Though I was hoping for better news today I am not going to let this get me down. They kept telling me that as long as we are able to retrieve eggs we have plenty of time to try to prepare my uterus for transfer. They kept saying that I am young because I am "not 35 yet"! This was hilarious to me because I am just over 11 months from 35! And, if it wasn't for my conditions 35 wouldn't be old at all!!
Thank you for your support!! I appreciate the messages and texts checking on us!!!
I know that God has a plan for us and though it can be hard to accept, I know that things will work out perfectly in the end!
Monday, August 3, 2015
Next Step...
Tomorrow marks the next step in our journey... we are headed to Oak Brook. Tomorrow we will have a consultation with the Endometriosis Institute. I have waited to post about it because we did not get the new patient information from the as quickly as I had expected. But, now we have it finished, printed, and ready to go. So, tomorrow we will get up bright and early and make the trek to Oak Brook.
We will have a lot to consider after meeting with this facility. We can't say with 100% certainty that we will move forward with this facility. We know that we have many options now that we have changed our insurance back to Blue Cross Blue Shield and we want to make sure that we are comfortable with the protocols that they are proposing.
I will keep you all posted as we move forward. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers as we meet with the new facility at noon tomorrow!
Have a wonderful evening!
We will have a lot to consider after meeting with this facility. We can't say with 100% certainty that we will move forward with this facility. We know that we have many options now that we have changed our insurance back to Blue Cross Blue Shield and we want to make sure that we are comfortable with the protocols that they are proposing.
I will keep you all posted as we move forward. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers as we meet with the new facility at noon tomorrow!
Have a wonderful evening!
Monday, July 13, 2015
34th Birthday!!!
Today is my 34th Birthday and MUCH to my surprise everything is okay!! I woke up this morning and shockingly nothing changed overnight!!! I know this sounds silly, but all of the infertility studies discuss statistics by age and therefore birthdays are dreaded instead of celebrated. Sometimes I just need to take a step back and recognize all of the amazing things I have to celebrate! Today I enjoyed chatting with friends and family, eating yummy foods, working on hobbies, and generally I felt fabulous... no side effects of icky sicky feelings! WOOHOO!!! I even started a new hobby by buying a guitar! It was a very good day!!! :)
Last week the school board approved changing insurance back to Blue Cross Blue Shield. I am hopeful that this is going to open up a lot of possibilities for us. I planned to call offices today to inquire about protocols that are offered, but instead I gave myself permission to just have a day to not stress about this journey. And I didn't!!! Even now, as I write this entry I am not stressing about it or trying to determine what we should do. I am just updating and leaving the stress until tomorrow!!
I hope everyone has a wonderful week!! I am extremely excited about this week! I have plans to do something fun every day this week. Then on Friday I am thrilled to have the opportunity to go dress shopping with one of my best friends! I am going to be the Matron of Honor in her wedding next summer and it is going to be so much fun to shop for dresses!!! Then we are going to spend the weekend in Wisconsin... YEP, you read that right!!! Mike and I are going to leave Monmouth!!!! WOOHOO!!!! I can't even tell you how excited I am!!!!!!!!! Gazillion exclamation marks type of excited!!! There are several things that I will have to say no to this weekend, but honestly we NEED this!!! We need to get away and have a fun weekend! And, since Mike is the one who asked about it I am going to strike while the iron is hot and drop everything to go!!!! :) We are going to get to spend time with great friends while we are there and I am thrilled!!! :)
I have read studies online that said that 34 is the best year of a person's life. Though that is sad for people who have passed 34 it would be pretty exciting for me if that is true because it would mean that I have an amazing year ahead of me!!! :)
Thank you to all of you for supporting us on this journey!! Thank you for sticking with me throughout this funk. Hopefully my spirit is on the mend. I won a book from one of my favorite infertility blogs and I am very hopeful that it will rejuvinate me. I was also leant several other books that were helpful to others going through a rough time. The truth is that this is life. We go through ups and downs, highs and lows, and we have to lean on our people to help us through. I think that I tried to be positive for SOOO long that I just had a long way to fall when I hit my true funk! As we search for our new facility I must dig deep and be hopeful! I know I can do it, especially with such an amazing support system lifting me up!!!
Thank you for your continued thoughts, prayers, hugs, and smiles!! They are appreciated more than you could ever know!! :)
Last week the school board approved changing insurance back to Blue Cross Blue Shield. I am hopeful that this is going to open up a lot of possibilities for us. I planned to call offices today to inquire about protocols that are offered, but instead I gave myself permission to just have a day to not stress about this journey. And I didn't!!! Even now, as I write this entry I am not stressing about it or trying to determine what we should do. I am just updating and leaving the stress until tomorrow!!
I hope everyone has a wonderful week!! I am extremely excited about this week! I have plans to do something fun every day this week. Then on Friday I am thrilled to have the opportunity to go dress shopping with one of my best friends! I am going to be the Matron of Honor in her wedding next summer and it is going to be so much fun to shop for dresses!!! Then we are going to spend the weekend in Wisconsin... YEP, you read that right!!! Mike and I are going to leave Monmouth!!!! WOOHOO!!!! I can't even tell you how excited I am!!!!!!!!! Gazillion exclamation marks type of excited!!! There are several things that I will have to say no to this weekend, but honestly we NEED this!!! We need to get away and have a fun weekend! And, since Mike is the one who asked about it I am going to strike while the iron is hot and drop everything to go!!!! :) We are going to get to spend time with great friends while we are there and I am thrilled!!! :)
I have read studies online that said that 34 is the best year of a person's life. Though that is sad for people who have passed 34 it would be pretty exciting for me if that is true because it would mean that I have an amazing year ahead of me!!! :)
Thank you to all of you for supporting us on this journey!! Thank you for sticking with me throughout this funk. Hopefully my spirit is on the mend. I won a book from one of my favorite infertility blogs and I am very hopeful that it will rejuvinate me. I was also leant several other books that were helpful to others going through a rough time. The truth is that this is life. We go through ups and downs, highs and lows, and we have to lean on our people to help us through. I think that I tried to be positive for SOOO long that I just had a long way to fall when I hit my true funk! As we search for our new facility I must dig deep and be hopeful! I know I can do it, especially with such an amazing support system lifting me up!!!
Thank you for your continued thoughts, prayers, hugs, and smiles!! They are appreciated more than you could ever know!! :)
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