The Good - Last Monday I was pretty excited. I had a tiny "baby bump" that popped up over the previous weekend, which was pretty exciting AND we entered the 2nd trimester!!!
The Great - Tuesday afternoon we had our rescheduled ultrasound. The previous week we were scheduled for an ultrasound, but the machine broke and they could not complete one. We got a call to go in for the appointment anyway, but when we got there Amy apologized and said that there was no reason to see us without the ultrasound to look over. So, Tuesday I took off another afternoon and we went to Cottage OB/GYN. When we got there the lady said, "Did anyone call you?" and my heart sunk to my stomach... Amy had an emergency that she had to leave for. Noone had called and I was super upset... as was Mike. The lady then quickly assured us that we would still have the ultrasound and that Amy could call us with the results when she got back. So, we did not have a checkup, but we did get to see the most AMAZING thing that I have ever seen in my life. The ultrasound was UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I coudn't believe it, the baby had grown SO much!! Baby McVey was in a deep sleep at the beginning of the ultrasound. The heartrate was 156, which I thought was great considering the fact that baby was sleeping! It took several minutes to wake baby up. We got some adorable pictures of our snoozer! Baby was sleeping with its arms over its head, knees up, and ankles crossed. Its little mouth was moving. We could see all of the features of its profile and its little ear. Then, baby rolled over and turned its back to us, still trying to sleep! One more nudge and baby rolled towards us and swung it's hand up in the air! All 4 fingers and a thumb were clear as day! The hand closed and opened and I squealed with excitement! Then Baby McVey got very active and was stretching and rolling about. The ultrasound tech thought it might do a roll! She said, "Well, there is no such thing as TOO active of a baby." and she laughed! She said that Baby McVey is definitely an active kiddo! Mike said that Baby McVey is already more flexible than he is! HAHA!! I was on CLOUD 9!!! I even forgot to go to a United Way meeting because I was so blown away by the whole thing. I think I also forgot because while I was waiting for the ultrasound results to be called in I got a recorded call saying to call for scheduling right away and I totally freaked out! We had already set my next appointment for May 5th with Dr. Piper. So, I thought they had to have seen something in the ultrasound that was not good. But, when I called back they said that it was just a glitch and I should disregard it. Later, I got a call from Amy and she said that everything looked perfect and matched up well with the information they got from Iowa City. I was ecstatic!!! CLOUD 9!!!!! OH!! And baby was measuring 5 days ahead!! Baby McVey is going to be tall!! :)
It was an insane feeling to be SO EXCITED because I had been so guarded and cautious throughout the whole pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I was happy that IVF worked this time, but I was extremely scared of all that could go wrong. It was very hard for me to let myself believe that everything woud be okay and that the other shoe wasn't just waiting to drop. BUT, with one ultrasound ALL of my reservations about the pregnancy fell away! I was elated!
The Terrifying - (warning that some of this is kind of gross) Wednesday morning was like any other morning. I threw up first thing. I taught my morning groups. But, I felt super tired. I have been having trouble getting comfortable at night, so I thought I just didn't sleep well. We had a 1:00 dismissal, so it was a pretty quick day. A little after 1:00 we had a quick Young Author's meeting and then we had our faculty/school improvement meeting at 1:30. At about 2:00 I went to the restroom and everything was fine. But, sometime between 2 and 2:30 I had a sudden feeling that my rump had fallen asleep... we hadn't even been sitting long. Then, I felt something that most ladies would know as that feeling when they start their period. Of course I was instantly alarmed. The meeting ended and I went down the hallway toward the bathroom. On the way I saw that a copy repair man had been locked out. I went and got Mr. Coate to help the guy and went into the restroom to see what was going on and to my shock my feeling was right. It was blood. I wasn't in complete panic mode yet because it wasn't bright red. I knew that I needed to call the doctors office though or I would go crazy. So, I walked back to my classroom and got my phone. It wouldn't work in my room so I went across the hall and made the call. They told me that they would have a nurse call back. I went back to the restroom because I could feel more blood. This time it was bright red, on my liner, in the toilet, and when I wiped. I knew that was not a good combination. Panic set in. I started walking down the hallway and saw an amazing woman that works at our school who is a retired nurse. She told me to get home or get on my back. So, we went to the cot and she used blankets to prop up my hips while we waited for the Dr's office to call back. She stayed with me until I stopped crying and then she had to go pick up her granddaughter. I stayed in the office with my hips up. The nurse called back and I explained what I saw when I used the restroom the last time. She said that at 13 weeks there was nothing they could do and that I would have to wait it out. She explained her thoughts and said that she would talk to Amy and get back to me. I stayed in the office with my hips up long enough that the automatic lights turned off! Then a couple teachers came in and I cried as I told them what was happening. They were so supportive and I felt terrible that I couldn't keep calm as I waited for the nurse to call back. When she called back she said that Amy agreed with what she had told me before. She said that it could be nothing. She explained to me what I should do if the bleeding got more intense. She then said that though she knew it was hard to hear if I was going to miscarry I was going to miscarry and there was no way to stop it. At that point I couldn't control my crying on the phone. I was trying to remain calm, but that was the LAST thing I wanted to hear. I was terrified. I also knew that I needed to calm down because it wasn't helping the bleeding to cry to hard. Everyone at school was being fabulous. Everyone was being super helpful. Amazing ladies got me home and set up on the couch. My brain wasn't even working anymore I was so numb and my fear was so intense. If the bleeding hadn't been bright red and I couldn't see it in the toilet I would have been nervous, but bright red and in the toilet had me regretting that I had let my guard down. I just knew that the other shoe was dropping. Then I decided that I had to change my thinking. I would just rest on the couch and not do anything. An amazing friend sat with me because Mike was still working. I was numb. I was terrified. There are no words to describe the way that I felt. When Mike got home I told him that I was "all out of strong and that I could not handle losing our baby." I truly felt like I had not an ounce of strength left for more sadness. I used it all up while we were trying to GET pregnant.
That night I decided that I would wait and see how I felt in the morning before calling in for the next day. I didn't want to take the day off if the bleeding was a fluke. Unfortunately I woke up at 5 a.m. and was still bleeding. Luckily, throughout the day it became spottting and then it turned to only brown... which Google said was a good thing. Then I went a few hours with nothing. Also a good sign. At 10:00 p.m. I had a bit of brown spotting, but then I didn't have anything else. I decided to go to school the next day. I was nervous, but our sick days are our maternity leave, so I felt like I would regret staying home if I didn't have more spotting.
School went pretty well on Friday. I started spotting at about 10:30 that morning and spotted throughout the day, but it was nothing like Wednesday. I was able to stay calm and I finished out the school day. I decided to have a "couch rest" weekend in hopes that whatever has caused this would come to an end. I haven't had any spotting since Friday, so it appears that "couch rest" was just what I needed.
I am so thankful to have such supportive people surrounding me on a daily basis. Everyone was wonderful while I was falling apart. I recognize that it can be normal to have spotting during pregnancy and hopefully that is what I experienced... just "normal" spotting. But, on Wednesday nothing about the situation seemed normal. I have heard stories of a lot of people who have had spotting during pregnancy. I appreciated that people were trying to comfort me with stories of successful pregnancies that had spotting. But, I knew of many situations in which things did not turn out so well and those were hard to move beyond. At this point, I am going to do my best to move forward without fear. But, if I am being honest I know that my guard is back up. It is going to be hard to wait for that May 5th appointment. I just want to hear Baby McVey to know that everything is okay. It was terrifying to go from everything looks perfect to there is nothing we can do.
We are so lucky to have such an amazing group of people supporting us through this journey. Week 13 is just an example of the fact that we need just as many prayers now as we ever did and that the journey of Team McVey is far from over. Goodness... it has only just begun! Thank you for your continued support as we await our next appointment! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers and we move on to Week 14 of this pregnancy! Thank you for all of your kind words when I posted about the sonogram. I didn't get a chance to respond to many of them before the bleeding started and after it started I just didn't have words. But please know that I apprecated all of the likes, words of support, and prayers that were said! I read them all OVER and OVER while I waited for the bleeding to stop!
Looking forward to Week 14, but not forgetting that Week 13 was full of some amazing moments, too!!
School went pretty well on Friday. I started spotting at about 10:30 that morning and spotted throughout the day, but it was nothing like Wednesday. I was able to stay calm and I finished out the school day. I decided to have a "couch rest" weekend in hopes that whatever has caused this would come to an end. I haven't had any spotting since Friday, so it appears that "couch rest" was just what I needed.
I am so thankful to have such supportive people surrounding me on a daily basis. Everyone was wonderful while I was falling apart. I recognize that it can be normal to have spotting during pregnancy and hopefully that is what I experienced... just "normal" spotting. But, on Wednesday nothing about the situation seemed normal. I have heard stories of a lot of people who have had spotting during pregnancy. I appreciated that people were trying to comfort me with stories of successful pregnancies that had spotting. But, I knew of many situations in which things did not turn out so well and those were hard to move beyond. At this point, I am going to do my best to move forward without fear. But, if I am being honest I know that my guard is back up. It is going to be hard to wait for that May 5th appointment. I just want to hear Baby McVey to know that everything is okay. It was terrifying to go from everything looks perfect to there is nothing we can do.
We are so lucky to have such an amazing group of people supporting us through this journey. Week 13 is just an example of the fact that we need just as many prayers now as we ever did and that the journey of Team McVey is far from over. Goodness... it has only just begun! Thank you for your continued support as we await our next appointment! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers and we move on to Week 14 of this pregnancy! Thank you for all of your kind words when I posted about the sonogram. I didn't get a chance to respond to many of them before the bleeding started and after it started I just didn't have words. But please know that I apprecated all of the likes, words of support, and prayers that were said! I read them all OVER and OVER while I waited for the bleeding to stop!
Looking forward to Week 14, but not forgetting that Week 13 was full of some amazing moments, too!!
Clomid is an FDA approved drug that is used for the treatment of low sperm count or abnormal egg production in males. It also prevents ovulation and helps maintain a healthy reproductive system.For more information on clomid read here.
ReplyDelete