Wednesday afternoon I called the Oakbrook office because I had not heard from them regarding my August 24th MRI. "The Bomb.com" answered (see previous post about this facility!!) and said that she would have to have a nurse call me back. So, I went about my day and got a call back in the late afternoon/early evening. Nurse S (the nurse that I am convinced changes her name on different days of the week because Nurse H and Nurse H2 sound just like her!!) confirmed that I had called about my MRI and said, "We were ruling out Adenomyosis." I said, "Okay." She said, "You have Adenomyosis." So... I guess she meant that the MRI was to rule out Adenomyosis, not that they had ruled out Adenomysosis!!! I went from pleasantly surprised to bummed very quickly. She then said that the MRI showed that I have endometriosis again, two endometriomas (the endometriosis filled cysts that are only removed through surgery), and endometriosis in my colorectal area. Though I was fairly certain that the endometriosis had returned, I was very surprised that they were able to see it in the MRI. They had told me previously that they would have to do a laparoscopy to diagnose endometriosis, but unfortunaely it has already returned severely enough that they could see it on the MRI. At that point I asked Nurse S what the plan was. She said, I don't know, what did Dr. R tell you? I said that I had not spoken to him since he told me to have the MRI. She said, "Well, then you need to schedule a consult with him, but he will be out of town for two weeks starting Friday." That was the end of our conversation. I said that I would call and set up an appointment for when he got back, but in the back of my mind I was thinking "Shoot, I don't want to have to drive up to Oakbrook for a consult AGAIN!!!!" I called Mike and told him what they said. He said that same thing that I was thinking... that he didn't feel that we should have to drive up there for him to give us a plan. He said that he feels that it is something that could be handled by phone or even email! HAHAH! And, he is not wrong. Dr. R had said that if diagnosed with Adenomyosis we would have to put me into menopause in order to attempt to shrink my uterus. So, I feel that they should be able to call in those injections and let me get started! Geesh! I am not getting any younger!!!! ;)
Mike and I also talked about getting a second opinion about protocol from Iowa City. I had hoped to have Dr. R's plan BEFORE checking with the University of Iowa, but since he is out of town I don't think we should waste time. I called Iowa City on Thursday to see if they had anyone who specialized in Adenomyosis/Endometriosis and the woman who had answered my call said that she really couldn't give me any information until we sent in our information. At that point, a nurse would call us and discuss our case/set up an appointment. She said that when the nurse calls I can tell her that I had an MRI completed at their hospital and that that nurse can then put it in my file to look up the results in their system. I must admit that it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but was not surprising either! Though I want facilities to be able to immediately answer my questions regarding their specialization, it just isn't the reality of how all of this works. So, since I had already filled out the paperwork in April I just needed Mike's signature to be able to send it off. Now we just wait and see what happens! Hopefully SOMEONE in their practice has knowledge about these conditions and give us their opinion!!
This weekend marks 6 full years that we have tried to grow our family. We are entering our 7th year of infertility and it seems as though we are no closer to holding a healthy child in our arms than we ever were. Looking back on this journey it is hard to believe that though significant events have occurred... surgeries, IUI, IVF, numerous opinions from doctors, countless medications... very little has actually changed.
For years I have prayed that God would help me to know when our time was up. That he would help me to know if children were not in his plan for us. That he would help me to be at peace with His plan for our lives. I have prayed to be happy. I have prayed for our family to grow. I have prayed that our marriage will be strengthened, not strained by all of this. I have prayed SO many things. BUT, I have NOT prayed for patience while we wait, because I don't want him to continue to put me in situations that will require me to be patient!!! ;) HAHAH! Moving forward and pushing for answers is what is keeping me sane! (Barely!!) People make comments about the way that I handle every diagnosis, every disappointment, every negative outcome... but the truth is that if I let myself wallow I won't make it! I honestly don't think I would be able to pull myself out of the pit! When I catch myself falling back into the what if game I realize that it will eat me alive!!! YES, I truly believe that if we would have been able to continue with my original Reproductive Endocriniologist who had diagnosed me with Adenomyosis over a year and a half ago we would be in a completely different place. BUT, that obviously wasn't meant to be our story! For some reason I am supposed to have a HUGE uterus and a hot mess of a pelvis!! ;) Who knows... maybe one of these med students at University of Iowa is going to have the medical breakthrough of our lifetime while studying my case!! Maybe our child is meant to be born at a certain time so that he/she can be the first president to have ever been frozen!! (I am only guessing that none of the presidents were once frozen embryos!) Maybe we will never know why!!!
For now, while we wait, we will continue to come up with crazy ideas... this week we were looking at RV's online after watching a marathon about RV living! HAHHA!! We spent hours looking at the options! In the past we have had other crazy ideas about where life is leading us. I am convinced that life is taking me to a beach... whether it is the beach at Lake Warren or the beach along one of the coasts... I am meant to be on the water!! I can just feel it!!! ;) And I am pretty certain that I am supposed to pass that love of the water on to future generations!! Whether I pass that love on as Aunt Julie/Juju or on to my own children. Mike on the other hand is not a water lover, so maybe he can just watch football in the RV!! ;)
Thank you for your continued support! Who knew that the saga would continue this long and that so many people would open their hearts up to us! Please know that we appreciate your thoughts and prayers! As we move forward, we will continue to need your prayers that our records make it to the hands of the person who can help us to make this happen!
Have a wonderful Labor Day Weekend!!!
P.S. I am SOOOO excited for Cider Slushies, Haystack Onion Rings, and FUNNEL CAKE this week at the Prime Beef Festival!!!!! The simple joys in life!!! Now, I just have to remember to pace myself and space out the treats throughout the week so that I don't get a tummy ache!!! :)
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