It has been quite a while since I last wrote a post. The last I wrote I had called the doctor and I was waiting to find out the results of blood work. I guess things just got crazy busy at that point because I never posted an update with the results... When they called with the results they said that I did not ovulate for some reason. They gave me medication called Provera and told me that I needed to take it for 10 days and that sometime between the day I stopped taking it and 7 days after I stopped taking it I would get a period. Well, not surprisingly, I started bleeding on day 7 of taking the medication. Of course I panicked! Though I was glad to end the terribly long, ovulationless cycle (it ended up being 6 weeks/ 42 days long) I did not know why my body was reacting early. It was Memorial Day, which meant the the office was closed, but first thing the next morning I called the doctor's office again and they told me to continue taking the medicine or my body could stop this reaction and I could have further problems. GREAT!!!! They also told me that since I would take my last pill on Thursday I would need to start birth control on Friday in order to attempt to get my body regulated for a future IVF cycle. So, I finished out the meds which were HORRIBLE due to yucky side effects. So much pain, cramping, bloating, etc. I looked up reviews of the meds to make sure that I shouldn't be concerned about what was going on with my body, but I quickly found out that the side effects were 'normal'... Yay! ;) Grouchy does not even begin to describe the way I felt and I really can't describe the way I was feeling physically. I followed the protocol that they gave me and I waited... I read more about the meds because I was feeling SO terrible and having such a heavy response... I called the doctor again after 15 days of heavy bleeding and asked them what I should do. (After one of my surgeries I had 20 days of bleeding and was very anemic. They used birth control to stop the bleeding. The fact that I was already on the birth control made me very nervous and I could tell that my iron was very low because I was very symptomatic.) After I left a message for the nurse I drove to Peoria just in case they would try to fit me into an open slot. I felt bad enough that I wanted to make sure I was available if they were available. the Mercers met me in Peoria and we hung out while we waited for the doctor's office to call back. When they hadn't called back 6 hours later I left another message. She called me back a little before 4:00 and said that I was going to have to make a choice. Evidently my body lost a lot of lining very quickly, causing my lining to be extremely thin. She said that if the lining is too thick it will not shed (supposedly this was my initial problem). She said that is the lining is too thin it will not stop shedding (supposedly this was what was happening as I spoke to her). The heaviness and clotting were a common issue caused by the meds. SO, I had a choice to make. I could either stay on the pill and continue bleeding indefinitely, but be able to complete a July cycle if everything worked out with insurance and a protocol/facility we were happy with OR I could stop the pill, which should cause a "reset" for my body and should stop the bleeding by the 18th.... Yep, you read that right I was talking to her on the 8th and we were hoping for a possible stop by the 18th. :( I asked her what she would do if she were me and she said that one of the things that they love about me and appreciate about me is that I am always willing to do whatever is asked of me and whatever it takes in order to have a chance to grow our family. But, if it were her and she were symptomatic of anemia like I was she would stop the pill and risk missing out on the next IVF cycle. That was all I needed to hear. I truly was feeling terrible. I couldn't imagine continuing to feel this way indefinitely as we waited to hear about the new insurance. So, they instructed me to continue to take the birth control through Wednesday night and stop it on Thursday. I followed their instructions and I am currently at 21 days/ 3 weeks of bleeding and I am still feeling awful. I am taking supplements to try to keep my iron, ferritin, and vitamin b levels up, but they also cause stomach issues so I have to be careful of that. I don't take them everyday to prevent the stomach issues from getting too intense, but I feel so zapped when I don't take them. My chiropractor also reminded me last time that I was there that due to my endometriosis I am also bleeding internally right now because the endometriosis is shedding just like my regular lining is. That causes a lot of pain and an amazingly attractive amount of bloat and inflamation!! ;) I don't even want to know what they would find if they did another surgery for the endometriosis. This CANNOT be good for it! :(
So, I continue to wait for my body to determine that it is going to stop being crazy. I have to start the birth control again on Thursday in order to complete the "reset". I am hopeful that things will go back to normal then, although it would not be shocking to me if I had to call and seek guidance again. Thursday night is also the school board meeting in which they will determine the insurance that we will have starting July 1st. Once we know that information I will be able to start making calls to determine where we will move forward. It is maddening to think that if our insurance would have changed in July last year instead of in June we might not have had to go through this craziness. I truly believe that the intralipid therapy with Dr. Horowitz would have been the answer and that was supposed to start at the beginning of June last summer. The schools fiscal year begins July 1st, so it really would have made sense to have it change then... Ehh, I know that there is nothing that can be done now, but that doesn't make it any easier to stomach... Especially when things are so frustrating right now. Unfortunately Dr. Horowitz has now moved to Virginia or West Virginia (or some other Eastern state!). So, we are really starting from scratch as we try to move forward and I will be turning 34 next month. That might not sound like a big deal, but if you look up the chances of getting pregnant at the age of 34 and beyond when you have stage 4 endometriosis and high natural killer cells you will see why it is so much scarier than when I was 32 (almost 33) when we were supposed to go through IVF last June. Each month has a bleaker outlook. :/ (Sorry, I realize that this is quite a downer post, but it is just the reality of what we are facing.)
Yesterday was our 6th wedding anniversary. Mike had a client meeting in the morning, an open house in the afternoon, and he worked at the Italian Village until a little after 11 last night which meant that I had a LOT of time to sit at home and think... WOW! Things are so different than I had imagined they would be at this point in our lives. We have been together for over 11 and 1/2 years now and we really thought that we would start a family not long after we got married 6 years ago. Boy do plans change!!! So many things are different than I imagined... Though most of the time I am able to go with the flow and roll with the fact that this isn't how I imagined things would be for us at this point there are times like today that it is just hard. I can't be sunshine and rainbows all the time. It just wouldn't be real and I want this blog to be authentic.
I am sure that tomorrow will be a better day. I am going to take my iron and ferritin again, so it might give me a little pep and energy! :)
Mike and I will have a lot of decisions to make and they will need to be made very quickly once we find out what my insurance will be. We appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers as we try to determine the path that we are meant to travel. It is so hard to be patient and wait for God's timing. Mike appears to be MUCH better at waiting than I am. We don't talk about his much when we are in a "waiting phase", so I don't really know his thoughts on it right this moment, but I can say with certainty that he isn't a looney as I am right now... but, to give myself a little credit, he also hasn't been bleeding heavily for 3 weeks!! ;) hahahah!!
Thank you for your continued support of our journey. I hope to have some good news updates soon! If we switch to Blue Cross Blue Shield I plan to contact an endometriosis clinic soon to see what they have to offer us in terms of protocol and information. I also plan to contact SHER Institute to see what the new doctor has to say about my case. If we find out that we are sticking with Health Alliance as our insurance we will submit our paperwork to Iowa City to implant our remaining embryo and then we will have to determine how we will move forward from there due to their embryo freezing policies. At this point I feel that moving to Blue Cross Blue Shield would have the best options for us, but I have to trust that things will work out the way they are supposed to. We should know in just a few days either way.
Have a great evening. Try to stay dry in all of this crazy stormy weather we are having!
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