WOW!! A lot has happened since I posted on January 5th! I am not exactly sure why I didn't do updates throughout this cycle. The cycle was completely different than previous cycles and a LOT was happening, so it would have made sense to document it, but I think a part of me was just numb to the process this time. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. But... now we are on the other side of this cycle and I promised an update last week!
January 5th I posted that I would be starting an antagon cycle. I had never tried an antagon cycle before so I had NO idea what to expect. I started estrogen pills on January 6th. I took them in the morning and at night. Then I did 3 days of Ganarelix Jan. 7th, 8th, and 9th. The estrogen pills were to continue until the 17th. I was told that if I spotted for 3 days or started a period I should call the office right away for an ultrasound THAT DAY. Well, day 3 of spotting was Jan. 9th, so I called the weekend number and did not get a call back. On Sunday, Jan. 10th I started a HORRIBLE (and honestly scary) period... tons of cramping, clotting, and sickness! Still no call back. So, I sent my principal a text asking him if he wanted me to try to come in the next day or if I should just take the day and try to get in as soon as possible. At this point I didn't know if this was something going horribly wrong or what, but I knew that I was supposed to take the estrogen until the 17th, so I wasn't expecting a period until sometime around then. My principal told me to do whatever I felt most comfortable, so I decided to just take the day and hope that they could get me in quickly.
I called the IVF clinic and they said that they wanted to see me right away. They told me that they would forward my information to the Quad Cities office and that I should call that office in 30 minutes to set up an ultrasound. I thought it was weird that they wouldn't just call me, but I have learned that everything has to be weird and difficult, so I did not argue! After 30 minutes I called and set up an 11:30 ultrasound. Mike and got ready and we left for the Quad Cities without an understanding of what was happening. (At this point I was fairly certain that we were a month out from IVF... that is how it worked when we did birth control cycles... we would start the birth control and then I was on it for a month and then we would start other meds... that is all I knew) Once we got there we went back and they took my vitals. Mike said to me, "Take off your shoes, take off your glasses." The nurse glared at him! HAHAH!! But, he said, "No, she has a goal and she wants to reach it!" So I took off my shoes and stepped onto the scale and I DID IT!! I was down 10% of the weight I was at on September 13th!! WOOHOO!!! Mike was happy for me, the nurse was happy for me, I was happy for myself!! It was a great moment, but I also knew that we were headed back for an ultrasound. :/
Once the nice nurse who took the vitals was finished the sonographer came and got us... let me just say that Gretchen is AMAZING!! We have had a LOT of internal sonograms... A LOT!!! And Mike always sits in the back and says nothing. He always says that he has no idea what is happening and he never asks questions. Well this time was very different... She started looking at my ovaries and explaining everything (at this point I thought that I shouldn't have any follicles... that is what is supposed to happen during birth control cycles... the only cycle I know!) I saw follicles and immediately my heart sank. But, she seemed upbeat. She started counting follicles and seemed happy that I had several. She talked, I stared, suddenly Mike asked a question and I looked back at him. Gretchen was explaining things enough that Mike felt comfortable asking what was going on and she answered all of his questions very patiently. It was GREAT! She counted that I had 6 follicles on the right ovary and 2 on the left ovary. Then they sent us to Exam Room 3 and we waited for a nurse to meet with us.
The nurse came in and brought in a purple folder full of information. She said that she was surprised that we hadn't called the day before to set up a sonogram. I told her that we had tried to call the weekend pager, but did not get anyone. She said, "Oh. Okay. Sorry about that. The Iowa City office only has to carry the pager if they have someone close to retrieval. We have to carry the cell phone between 9 and noon. Always call here." I told her that I didn't have the number. So, she gave it to me and I quickly realized that this number would be my lifeline!! ;) The nurse then went over all kinds of information regarding the IVF cycle and she finished with telling us that we would start stimulation meds THAT NIGHT! WHAT!?!?!?! Things quickly went from me feeling like something was wrong with me due to a horrific period to elated within seconds! So, we packed everything up and headed home so that we could prepare our meds!
The first few nights of shots were pretty uneventful. We were only doing the Follistim and it uses a very small need that gets attached to a "pen". Then things went CRAZY! On Thursday, Jan 14th I was starting a new injection, Menipur. (Not completely new... I have done it before.) I was doing the injections a little early because I was going to the Jason Aldean concert with Emily and Catrina . When I went to get the needles out for that injection I realize that they did not put them in our order. I began searching all over and looking at receipts... they definitely did NOT put them in the order. I start panicking!! The office was already closed. There was noone to get ahold of. What the heck could I do?!?! So, I started searching the bag that I keep all of my injection stuff in. I found TWO needles! Phew! The panic had subsided, but I knew that I would have to call the pharmacy first thing in the morning to get needles sent overnight! The only other drama with that shot was that I had forgotten how much Menipur STINGS!!! OUCH!!!
The next morning I called and they told me that they needed my credit card number right away and that they would then process the order and they would overnight the needles that we needed. They didn't have an explanation for why we didn't get them with our original order, but I didn't care as long as the needles came on Saturday. Fast forward to Saturday... We had an appointment at 8:30 a.m. for a sonogram in the Quad Cities. The nurse Aly was awesome, Gretchen was awesome! It was a great appointment even though the follicles were small. They scheduled another appointment for Monday at 10:00. We told Aly about the needles and she told us to call if they didn't come. So, we went home and I sat at home ALL DAY waiting for them to show up. Nothing came. The pharmacy was closed. The oncall nuber was already off. I had to call the "emergency number" for the resident on call. The lady at the switchboard was very kind when she told me that someone from OB was covering for the IVF department and unfortunately that person was busy... how can I be mad at a lady for delivering a baby?!?!? UGH!! So, I went ahead and started calling pharmacies to see if anyplace nearby had the needles that I needed if we could get an order sent by the OB on call. Monmouth's pharmacy was closed. Galesburg had the needles... they said they would be ready whenever the order was sent. The pharmacist was FABULOUS!!! Our injection time comes and goes. We did the Follistim and I took the estrogen. Mike even threw out the idea of using one of the old needles... that is how desperate we were getting! :/ Don't worry... we knew that it wasn't a good idea and we DID NOT do it! At this point Mike is still trying to figure out what happened to the package. He finally got ahold of someone at FedEx and they tell him that there was NO SUCH PACKAGE! I am FURIOUS!!! Time continues to pass... At about 7:30'ish a very apologetic doctor called and said that she would place the order for the needles at the Galesburg Walgreens. I called my mom and asked her to pick them up and told her that we would meet her at her house. So, we packed everything up and headed for Galesburg. We finished the shot at about 8:30... only an hour and a half late! :/ GRR!!!
The next morning I called the pharmacy to find out what happened and the man on the phone said that he did not know what could have happened. He put me on hold to "look around". He found the box for overnight in the "pick-up" section. Then he asks if I want the package to be sent out ASAP, which would mean Wednesday delivery due to the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. We had school scheduled for Monday, so I was SHOCKED that the pharmacy was going to be closed. I told him that I no longer needed them and that I wanted a refund! We also found out that it was a holiday for the doctor's office, so they would only have Aly and Gretchen there again. I realized at that point that it was likely that I would need more meds before they would be able to get them shipped to me. I started to get a little nervous, but thanfully I have an amazing friend, Alison, who was willing to pick up meds for me from the general pharmacy on Monday!! Not only did she pick them up in Iowa City before the holiday hours, but she demanded that they refund the money that they charged me for the needles that were never sent!! They hadn't refunded me yet! But, they put the refund on and gave her a receipt to show it!! Go Alison!! :) So, I had plenty of meds and a refund for the needles that were never sent.
As for Monday's appointment, things were not looking super great. The follicles were growing VERY slowly! VERYYYYY slowly!! I knew that they needed to be at 18 and the biggest follicle was a 12. They said that they would leave my protocol on the Patient Information Line (PIL). So, we left and waited for the message to show up on the PIL... I have not mentioned the PIL yet, but it is my nemisis... it is basically a voicemail that patients have to check to see if they have any information from the office. I prefer for people to just call and tell me info so that I can ask my questions right then. Instead, I check repeatedly for a message until one finally shows up, I have a question, I call and leave a message, they try to call me back, etc... ANNOYING!!!! The message on the PIL said that they were increasing my dosage of Menapur in hopes that the follicles would increase... GOOD thing I had Alison pick up more meds!!!! The PIL also gave us our new time for Wednesday (Yep... the new appointments are not set up in person... a date and time are left on the PIL... another thing I forgot to mention before... we just have to take what they give us.) Good news of the day was that it was too cold for school, so I did not have to take a sick day!!! :)
We continued injections and went in for our appointment on Wednesday. The follicles were growing... slowly... We had two 14's and then smaller ones for a total of 7 on the right and 2 on the left. The left side follicles had not been growing at all. I am fairly certain that my left ovary is dead. It does not grow any sizable follicles, even with stimulation. They have us meet with the nurse practitioner to go over pre-op information for IVF rerieval and transfer because they are hopeful that things will keep growing with the increased dosages. They then told us to check the PIL for our protcol and next appointment date and time. At this point I knew that we were hitting crunch time. Those follicles needed to grow or the cycle would be cancelled. The PIL said to continue with the higher dosage and to be there on Friday at 8:30 a.m.
Friday I was very nervous. I knew that it was the moment of truth! Gretchen started measuring the follicles and we saw that we had one 18! That was great, but we needed at least two to move forward. She measured another follicle and it was a 15. :( Then she measured a third and it was an 18!!! Gretchen gave me a high five!!! :) She then measured the smaller follicles and we went in to meet with Aly again. As Gretchen left us in the exam room she said, "Next time I see you we will be looking at a baby!" It took me a minute to realize what she meant... we have never made it that far! At that point, Aly went over the rest of the retrieval and transfer info with us and told us that she really wasn't sure what they were going to do. She told us that they could have us do another night of injections in order to try to bring the 15 up to 18. She told us to call the PIL for protocol and what to do next. At that point I told her that we did not have our progesterone yet because we didn't realize how quickly things would move over the weekend. We discussed the fact that there was an impending blizzard on the East Coast. I began to panic. We called Mandell's Pharmacy from the exam room and tried to set up delivery. Mandell's said that they were not certain that they would get the progesterone out before the storm. I began to FREAK OUT!!! We left a note for Aly with the receptionist and started driving home. On my way back to work Aly called and gave me a number for the only other pharmacy that could get me my meds. It was out of Arizona. Surely the storm wouldn't affect them... but when I called they said that their packages were delayed due to the storm. :/ Mike and I decided that we would just order from both places and pray! Insurance does not pay for the progesterone anyway, so it wasn't like the purchase could be denied. We spent $90 in overnight delivery fees and hundreds for the meds and hoped for the best! I watched the tracking page through the night and all morning. When it said that the packages had left the Quad Cities I nearly did backflips!! I could have hugged the delivery guy that afternoon!!! :)
SOOO much pharmacy drama this time!!!!
So, back to Friday and the PIL... they told me to do another night of stimulation meds and to trigger shot on Saturday night at 8:30 p.m. for a Tuesday retrieval. I immediately saw a red flag. From previous experience I knew that trigger shots are given 36 hours before retriveal. So, I called back and left a message for the nurse. She called back and apologized for the error. I was right, it would be a Monday retrieval. (Monday, January 25th) I am SOOO glad that I called!! By the time the error was recognized and we got to Iowa City it is likely that I would have already ovulated and the cycle would have been cancelled. Mistakes happen, always ask questions if you think something doesn't seem right!!!
We decided that we would stay in Iowa City the night before the retrieval since we had to check- in at 8:00 a.m. for an 8:30 a.m. retrieval. The hotel was fabulous! We went to a BBQ restaurant that was amazing!! And we had a fiasco involving a manicure that I forgot to have removed. Of course neither of us could sleep. :/ It was a ROUGH night in an extremely comfy bed. What a waste!!
I couldn't eat anything after midnight because of the anesthesia for the surgery. We got to the hospital right on time and went right up to the 4th floor where the surgery would take place. They prepped me and we were ready to go. The IV was an awful experience because I was SOOO dehydrated. The rest of it went very well. One thing that I found interesting was that they strapped me to the bed... they have never done that to me before, but they said that it prevents people from kicking the doctor during the surgery. I was a lot nervous about the anesthesia because I typically do not do well with it, but before I knew it I was waking up in the room I had originally gotten prepped for surgery in. I woke up very quickly and wasn't nauseated at all!! It was great! Mike looked SO happy when he walked in and saw me wide awake. He was very surprsed to see me awake! The doctor came in and told me that they had retrieved 6 eggs. That was very exciting to me!! They then had us wait for over an hour while they kept and eye on my blood preassure every 15 minutes. Things were looking good, it was just a little low and dropped a bit when I sat or stood. Overall, things went excellently! They told us to pick up a prescription for pain meds and they gave me portable heat packs to keep on my stomach until we got home. Then they told me to use the heating pad.
We stopped at the pharmacy to pick up the pain meds and the suppplemental HCG that they were putting me on. The supplemental HCG is typically used with people over 38, but due to my deminished ovarian reserve they wanted me to use it. I was in a wheelchair and Mike was talking to the pharmacist. I asked him to make sure that they had given needles to inject the HCG... SHOCKING... they DID NOT have the needles in the bag!!! UGH!!!!! Not only that, but the doctors had not ordered any. So, we had to wait on that and then they were kind of snippy about it... More pharmacy drama!!! Ridiculous!!! At one point when the lady was being snippy Mike asked how she would recommend using the medication if they did not provide needles. The lady was dumbfounded and said that you had to have a needle to dispense it. He said, "then why would you give it to us without needles?" She had no answer. It took quite a while, but we were finally set and ready to go.
That night we started the "rump shots" which are now "hip shots".
I had forgotten how exhausting retrieval is. I felt absolutely exhausted for days. I didn't get my energy back until Thursday or Friday.
The day after retrieval we had to call into the PIL and find out how the eggs did. We found out that 4 of the 6 eggs were mature. The did ICSI (used a needle to inseminate one sperm into the egg) with the 4 mature eggs and all 4 of them fertilized. They said that we would have a Saturday transfer and that we had to call back after 3 p.m. on Thursday to get a time for Saturday's retrieval. So, at 3:00 on Thursday I called the PIL and found out that we needed to check in at the IVF lab at 10:15 on Saturday morning for a 10:45 transfer. There was no update on the status of our embryos. (Which may have made me a little crazy!! HAHAH!) Since we did not have to be there super early we decided to just stay at home instead of staying at a hotel. We had to do 2 injections Friday night (7:00 and 8:30) so Mike took the night off and we got everything ready for the morning.
Saturday morning Mike woke up at 3 a.m. and I woke up at 4. I guess there was a lot of nervous energy in our house! We drove to Iowa City and checked in to the IVF lab. They got me ready for the procedure and I asked them about the fact that I had had a fever since the retrieval. They looked at my injection sites and suggested that it was probably due to redness and irritation of my right injection site. So, they drew another one for us. Then they took us back to the procedure room. We were in there for quite a while while they did whatever they had to do to prep for the procedure. Dr. D came in with a paper that had pictures of all four of our embryos. He also brought a "report car". He esplained that the embryo that we would be transfering was EXCELLET and that he was very happy with it. He would give it an A! He said that embryo #2 was good and that he thought that it had a chance of being frozen for later use. He felt that embryos 3 and 4 were in the process of "arresting" and therefore would likely not make it to freeze. He said that we would need to call the PIL on Monday to find out if any of the embryos survived to freeze. We could tell from the pictures that embryo #4 was not doing well. It looked very sad. But, we had high hopes for the other two! Next, Dr. D asked me if I thought my bladder was full. I said that I hoped it was. I was slightly nervous because instead of waiting 2 hours before the procedure I stopped to pee 12 miles outside of Iowa City... my bladder always gets super full and painful during the procedure, so I thought that I would bypass some of the pain. Dr. Dused the ultrasound thingy to see if the bladder was ready and he said it was actually VERY full! How does that happen?!?!?! My bladder never wants to empty! It just doesn't! So, we were good to go! Another Dr. started the procedure and then placed a "practice cathedar" to determine if they could get good placement for the embryo. Then, she inserted the real thing. We watched as she got the cathedar in position and Dr. D told us that we would not be able to see the embryo because it is so small, so they put an air bubble in the cathedar so that we can see where the embryo ends up in the uterus. It was really cool to be able to watch the process and see where the embryo was placed. Once again, they were GREAT about explaining every part of the procedure! It was a great experience. Once it was over they sent the cathedar to be checked by the embryologist to assure that the embryo made it into my uterus. We got the okay and they started the 5 minute clock until I could go potty!! After that we were sent to get dressed and we took a picture with the sonogram picture that they gave us from after the transfer occured! :)
We left the hospital, had lunch, and took off to see the Birthday Girl Dolcey!! :) We had a great visit, but decided that we needed to leave before the party so that we could get back and rest up. We headed for home, but realized that we should probably stop somewhere to eat and figure out a place to do our shot. We ate at the yummy BBQ place in Iowa City and decided that the parking lot at the hotel we stayed at on Sunday would be a good location to do the shot... We had been in the lot 8 times and NEVER seen anyone in it. So, we pulled up in a well lit spot and I started to prep the injection. Just as I was stepping out of the vehicle to walk around to Mike's side of the car a person got into a car a couple rows back from us. We started laughing because the person took off super quickly as I was standing in the parking lot with a needle in my hand! HAHAH!! Then, Mike gave me the injection and as I was adjusting my clothes anothe car pulled up right behind us. It was a white car and I thought that it was a cop!!! I thought that the original car had called the cops! HAHAH!! Mike and I shared a good laugh and it will definitely be a memory that we do not forget! HAHAH! We were clear at the END of the lot, which is the very top of a parking garage... how did TWO vehicles show up then of all times! HAHAH!!
We made it home that night and we settled back in, hopeful that this time is going to be different. I said lots of prayers for the embryo that they transfered and the embryos that were still culturing. Many, many, many prayers!
Monday morning I called the PIL to check on the embryos that were still culturing. The message said that unfortunately none of the embryos survived to thaw. I was very sad to hear that. I just couldn't understand how embryo #2 that was already a blastocyst in "good" condition could have not made it. I still don't understand... the message said that they would send a letter with a report on the embryos. In my mind, I felt that they should have thawed that embryo right away because there are many people who never have an excellent embryo to transfer so they would have used that "good" embryo as their transfer. I can't overthink it... Mike told me to just focus all of my energy on the embryo that we transfered, so that is what I am trying to do.
We are currently in the two week wait period. Hopefully we will have good news around Valentine's Day!
Thank you for your continued support and prayers! We truly appreciate you!
