I called the doctor yesterday to ask them if it was normal to have such a long cycle. They said that it wasn't normal and they told me that I needed to go for bloodwork to check my hormone levels. I went after school to the hospital in Monmouth. The doctor's office called with the results just after lunch today. They said that I did not ovulate and they prescribed progesterone to me that I have to take for 10 days. They said that it should force me to have a period. I am tired, cranky, tired of being tired,and cranky!!!! ;) I truly don't understand why all of this has been SO difficult. I am absolutely missing whatever it is that I am supposed to learn from this and I am struggling to find the silver lining. :/ To say that I am feeling defeated would be an understatment!!! ;)
I have realized recently that there are people who think that I am trying to seek attention through my infertility issues. Not only is that hurtful, but it is idiotic. Their is nothing glamorous about admitting that you are experiencing infertility or about the treatments for the infertility. There is no part of this that makes me feel special. I would LOVE for this to have never come to the point where I had to share what was happening. Unfortunately that isn't how life worked out. In 3 months we will have been trying for 6 years to have a family. I was very happy to keep this all a secret until situations occurred that I needed to open up about it. Unfortunately things came up that made it very difficult to stay quiet. There are people in this world who truly need to watch out because the bad fairies will get them someday for their nasty words, attitudes, and ways. Empathy and compassion can take a person a long way in this world...
On a lighter note, the kiddos seem to love my "black and purple" hair... Well, most of them!! Some of them are really shocked and disturbed that I would do something like this!! Hahahah!!! I have decided that it was a fun change and I am glad I did it!! :)
Thank you to those of you who have been such a wonderful support system!! Your kindness is greatly appreciated!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Sunday, May 17, 2015
35 days and counting...
As if this process isn't maddening enough, my period is at least a week late. I have now taken two tests. One when my period didn't come last weekend and one tonight. Both were negative. At this point I don't really have a doctor, so I don't really know what to do. of course I consulted the Internet and it said to contact a doctor's office and they will know if I should be seen or not. Well, I am in limbo right know with my doctor's so I am just feeling frustrated and nervous about what this means. Of course my mind keeps jumping to the fact that my egg reserve has been undetectable for over a year now... This could be it... I could be all out of eggs. :/
Hopefully something happens very soon or I guess I will have to call my old specialist. I haven't told them that I am leaving their practice yet, so I guess it won't be completely awkward.
That is all for now.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Still no plan...
Nothing really new to report from the McVey house... Mother's Day came and went and I was very surprised at the sting I felt. It was a new feeling for me. I told Mike that my best guess was that we have tried so many things over the last year that it just felt like more of a loss this year than usual. I don't really know... I think it could also be that my period is late and I felt the need to take a test that not surprisingly was negative... Why oh why must I do that to myself?!?!
They should have my picture up at all area stores with a note that tells cashiers not to sell pregnancy tests to the crazy woman in the picture!!! ;) it could also be the fact that we re getting closer Dan closer to 6 years of trying to grow our family... Only 3 and 1/2 months until that day hits. :/
As for where we stand now, over a month has passed and we are still not any closer to a plan for moving forward. We originally thought that we would try to go to a facility in the suburbs that specializes in endometriosis. After finishing my grad classes and finally looking into what was covered under my insurance plan I quickly found that there are no reproductive endocrinologists covered by our insurance from any of those facilities. There are actually only 21 of them covered in the whole country and 2 of them are the doctors that I have been seeing most recently. So, as of last Tuesday we are back to being planless.
Recently I have had several people ask why this has been such a difficult decision as we move forward. The answer to that question is that we now have one embryo left and we do not know if I have anymore eggs left. It has been over a year since the doctor tested levels that told us that my egg supply was undetectable. We were thrilled that after a failed cycle in which there were no eggs to retrieve we were able to try again and were able to fertilize 7 eggs. Now that we only have one of those embryos left we are left with the possibility that we will not be able to retrieve any eggs and we will have reached the end of our journey. Unfortunately we will not know until we get to that point. So, we are spending a lot of time just trying to figure out what to do. We are afraid that going to a facility that does not specialize in endometriosis would result in another failed cycle. We are also not willing to go to a facility that will not freeze all of our embryos if we were to have embryos reminding from a future cycle. That is a moral decision that we feel strongly about. We recognize that other people might think it is a ridiculous reason to not go to a facility, but we are the only people who have to live with our decision so we will make it with our beliefs in mind.
Another thing that I am kind of waiting on is the fact that we are at that time of year when the insurance companies are giving the school bids for next years coverage. I guess I am still holding onto hope that there is a chance that we will get an opportunity to go back to our old facility that has special treatment protocols for patients with endometriosis and high natural killer cells. There is a new doctor there, but from what I have read I feel that she has a lot of experience and I am hopeful that she would be able to help me just as much as Dr. Horowitz had intended to. I honestly haven't even talked to Mike about this possibility because I have been too nervous to talk about things that might not even be possible. We seem to be putting off this big decision and maybe the reason is that in the end this possibility will be available to us. Hopefully I will know very soon!!! Part of me wants to email the IVF coordinator at that facility and see how quickly she would be able to get me started with a cycle if our insurance was to magically change. Who knows, maybe she won't even remember me... But I feel like I am pretty unforgettable!! Hahahah!!! I emailed her almost daily!! ;)
Well, that is the latest in the McVey house. Nothing too exciting.
They should have my picture up at all area stores with a note that tells cashiers not to sell pregnancy tests to the crazy woman in the picture!!! ;) it could also be the fact that we re getting closer Dan closer to 6 years of trying to grow our family... Only 3 and 1/2 months until that day hits. :/
As for where we stand now, over a month has passed and we are still not any closer to a plan for moving forward. We originally thought that we would try to go to a facility in the suburbs that specializes in endometriosis. After finishing my grad classes and finally looking into what was covered under my insurance plan I quickly found that there are no reproductive endocrinologists covered by our insurance from any of those facilities. There are actually only 21 of them covered in the whole country and 2 of them are the doctors that I have been seeing most recently. So, as of last Tuesday we are back to being planless.
Recently I have had several people ask why this has been such a difficult decision as we move forward. The answer to that question is that we now have one embryo left and we do not know if I have anymore eggs left. It has been over a year since the doctor tested levels that told us that my egg supply was undetectable. We were thrilled that after a failed cycle in which there were no eggs to retrieve we were able to try again and were able to fertilize 7 eggs. Now that we only have one of those embryos left we are left with the possibility that we will not be able to retrieve any eggs and we will have reached the end of our journey. Unfortunately we will not know until we get to that point. So, we are spending a lot of time just trying to figure out what to do. We are afraid that going to a facility that does not specialize in endometriosis would result in another failed cycle. We are also not willing to go to a facility that will not freeze all of our embryos if we were to have embryos reminding from a future cycle. That is a moral decision that we feel strongly about. We recognize that other people might think it is a ridiculous reason to not go to a facility, but we are the only people who have to live with our decision so we will make it with our beliefs in mind.
Another thing that I am kind of waiting on is the fact that we are at that time of year when the insurance companies are giving the school bids for next years coverage. I guess I am still holding onto hope that there is a chance that we will get an opportunity to go back to our old facility that has special treatment protocols for patients with endometriosis and high natural killer cells. There is a new doctor there, but from what I have read I feel that she has a lot of experience and I am hopeful that she would be able to help me just as much as Dr. Horowitz had intended to. I honestly haven't even talked to Mike about this possibility because I have been too nervous to talk about things that might not even be possible. We seem to be putting off this big decision and maybe the reason is that in the end this possibility will be available to us. Hopefully I will know very soon!!! Part of me wants to email the IVF coordinator at that facility and see how quickly she would be able to get me started with a cycle if our insurance was to magically change. Who knows, maybe she won't even remember me... But I feel like I am pretty unforgettable!! Hahahah!!! I emailed her almost daily!! ;)
Well, that is the latest in the McVey house. Nothing too exciting.
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